Aug 4, 2010

Love + Marriage = Baby Carriage?

When you're single people bug you about finding love. Once you've found that special someone you usually find yourself bombarded with questions about marriage. Then once you take a leap into marital bliss everyone wants to know when you'll be adding some babies to the mix. It's enough to make your head spin. Back in June I blogged about my baby clock making a few ticks (sometimes quite loud ones), but recently I feel as if my clock has been put on pause, if not broken altogether.

It all started with a trip to the Sprint store on Tuesday night. What should have been a routine trip turned into a 1.5 hr long fiasco, complete with wild children aged 7-12 running about. Something about kids screaming, running and constantly chirping Mexican truck drivers wore me down... and I mean FAST! I found myself in a staring match with each child as they acted a fool, all the while giving their parents a major side eye at their lack of parenting and discipline. Back when I was young my mom only needed to give a certain look and I knew to get my shit together (that or she'd pinch me lol). Nowadays, kids are seriously out of control.

Looking around at all those preteen kids got me thinking - - despite being adorable for the first 6 years of life (just like puppies) kids grow up... and not everyone is excited about having a teenager (or adult dog). More importantly, it brought up the question of whether or not you can have a complete or balanced marriage without children.

I have my mother in my ear every second nagging me about her desire for grandchildren so I blame her for my wavering stance on this issue, but unlike how "rainbows and lollipops" I was about having kids in June, I'm slightly Debbie Downer about it now.

I still believe that kids are this amazing blessing, but I'm not entirely sold on the fact that you'll be doomed to an empty life if you choose to forgo them. Something about having a lifetime full of memories with my husband excites me and as of now I don't see kids in that picture.

Now, before you hold me to everything I'm saying please know that I flip flop on this issue every few months so if you see me singing the praises of children come October don't judge lol...

Still, I am intrigued by the married couples out there that make the decision to not have children. I wonder if they feel as strongly about it in their 40s and 50s as they did in their 20s and 30s... or if once the eggs are gone it's more of a hindsight, too little/too late type of thing. Also, just like until I got married I didn't know what I was missing out on.... is it the same way with children? Are the joys of being a parent so endless that it's hard to comprehend until you're in the situation. Like love, will you just know when it's the right time?

Can anyone else relate?

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