Mar 13, 2009

No Nicknames Allowed

On the Steve Harvey radio show this morning a listener sent in a letter regarding her 18yo daughter that was dating/sleeping with guys of which she only knew their nicknames. To give you some indication of how bad this had gotten, She only knew her own child's father as "Tip". When asked by her mother what his real name was she said she didn't know. Now, I can understand a 1 night stand and forgetting that person's name, but carrying on some sort of sexual relationship with someone and not knowing their government name? That's an issue.

Steve Harvey broke it down for the mother and I thought he hit the nail on the head. First off, he told her that she was parenting in a backwards manner. The real issue is that her 18yo daughter already has a child and NOW she feels the need to start having some heart to hearts with her? Her daughter is grown now and her mentality is warped. She equates male attention with love therefore she doesn't need to know their first name because her main goal is attention. Not only does she need positive male influences in her life STAT, but a therapist to assist in getting her mind right would be essential.

As women we know that any man will give you attention; attention is not something that's hard to come by. Bums give you attention on the street when you walk by. The guys that bang their drum sticks on buckets on State St. will start singing to you when you cross their line of vision. Hell, the door guys in my bldg make me feel special everyday. lol... Male attention in its most basic form is nothing special.

This situation made me think back to when I was in high school and my Aunt that helped raise me would always spazz out if guys called the house. "What's his name? Who are his parents?" I was always bombarded with questions and at the time I didn't understand it. All teenagers want to talk on the phone with boys. I remember feeling so embarrassed that guys would call the house and she'd grill them... but I now understand that her efforts were not in vain. She wanted me to set certain standards for myself and those are standards that I still practice to this day. I'm very adamant that I know someone's real name -- first and last. I don't save people in my phone under "Pookie", "Ty Ty" or any other hood moniker. I save birthdays and like to actually use the many other contact options I have in my blackberry. Company? Check. Position? Check.

I have never been one to call a grown ass man by a nickname. I always probe a person for their real name, you know... what's on your birth certificate. It's a huge turn off to see a man exist in the realm of nickname land. Womp womp. You don't pass go. Don't collect $200.

So, my question to everyone: How many guys have you been involved with and never known their real name? Do you save people in your phone by first/last name? Maybe I'm just a little OCD when it comes to this stuff...


Catherine said...

When I was younger, I dated two guys who I thought told me their real name, but realized it was a nickname before things got too deep.

I recently was at a sports bar in Hyde Park and this guy I was chatting up told me to take his number. I wasn't interested but took it anyway. I thought he was gonna tell me his real name at that moment, but told me to save him under Weezy... He never got a call. Most of the guys I meet are though mutual friends, so I know their last name already. I actually prefer to be handed a business card so I know what to Google;) LOL!!

South Loop Social Light said...

Girl, yes! I'm all about getting a business card from a legitimate company...not something you doctored up on your pc at home. I was walking around downtown during my lunch a few weeks ago and this guy was hounding me so I asked for a business card and his response:

"Do I look like the type to have a business card..."

to which I responded

"Do you look like the type to have a job?"

AsiaA said...

To South Loop Social Light: EWWWWWWWW!!!!

was he serious???

i don't think i ever talked to a guy (on that level) who had a nickname.

And I'm all about exchanging business cards. If anything, you're added to my phone for networking purposes.

You can't network with Pookie, TayTay, or Weezy.

South Loop Social Light said...

I'm not sure what planet he was from where it's a bad thing to have a business card. He boggled me. I hate feeling confused so I continued with my adventure to browse Urban Outfitter. lol...

Serenity3-0 said...

No, if I'm involved, I've already gotten your whole name and where you're from and where you work. I don't like nicknames at all. On the flip side of that, I have been aggressively pursued by men in the past so I tend to give out a false name and rarely will tell them my entire govt name. I have to get to know them first. Where I live, you can look up someone's name and hte real estate thingy will tell you their home address. I don't need any uninvited guest so I give a fake name. Most times at least initially.

South Loop Social Light said...

There's definitely a double standard and I think it's necessary. Men are psycho and you don't want someone blowing up your spot because they're having some pretend relationship with you. Women need to be cautious...but men, the majority of the time they're just being wack.

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