Mar 13, 2009

No Nicknames Allowed

On the Steve Harvey radio show this morning a listener sent in a letter regarding her 18yo daughter that was dating/sleeping with guys of which she only knew their nicknames. To give you some indication of how bad this had gotten, She only knew her own child's father as "Tip". When asked by her mother what his real name was she said she didn't know. Now, I can understand a 1 night stand and forgetting that person's name, but carrying on some sort of sexual relationship with someone and not knowing their government name? That's an issue.

Steve Harvey broke it down for the mother and I thought he hit the nail on the head. First off, he told her that she was parenting in a backwards manner. The real issue is that her 18yo daughter already has a child and NOW she feels the need to start having some heart to hearts with her? Her daughter is grown now and her mentality is warped. She equates male attention with love therefore she doesn't need to know their first name because her main goal is attention. Not only does she need positive male influences in her life STAT, but a therapist to assist in getting her mind right would be essential.

As women we know that any man will give you attention; attention is not something that's hard to come by. Bums give you attention on the street when you walk by. The guys that bang their drum sticks on buckets on State St. will start singing to you when you cross their line of vision. Hell, the door guys in my bldg make me feel special everyday. lol... Male attention in its most basic form is nothing special.

This situation made me think back to when I was in high school and my Aunt that helped raise me would always spazz out if guys called the house. "What's his name? Who are his parents?" I was always bombarded with questions and at the time I didn't understand it. All teenagers want to talk on the phone with boys. I remember feeling so embarrassed that guys would call the house and she'd grill them... but I now understand that her efforts were not in vain. She wanted me to set certain standards for myself and those are standards that I still practice to this day. I'm very adamant that I know someone's real name -- first and last. I don't save people in my phone under "Pookie", "Ty Ty" or any other hood moniker. I save birthdays and like to actually use the many other contact options I have in my blackberry. Company? Check. Position? Check.

I have never been one to call a grown ass man by a nickname. I always probe a person for their real name, you know... what's on your birth certificate. It's a huge turn off to see a man exist in the realm of nickname land. Womp womp. You don't pass go. Don't collect $200.

So, my question to everyone: How many guys have you been involved with and never known their real name? Do you save people in your phone by first/last name? Maybe I'm just a little OCD when it comes to this stuff...

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