Feb 20, 2011

When good help goes bad...

There's nothing worse than someone helping you out with something, yet resorting to hanging it over your head whenever they can. My mother has paid my car insurance for, well... for forever lol. However, whenever we have an inkling of a disagreement she "conveniently" reminds me that I can start looking for my own coverage.

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm extremely grateful to have a mother that is capable and willing to help me out. Plus, I'll be 27 this year so it's not out of the box to think about getting my own coverage lol... but I already am a stubborn type of person that loathes asking anyone for help (even my parents), so it's just super annoying to get the car insurance thing thrown in my face.

I'm sure I run the risk of sounding like a brat even having this complaint, but it's not like I'm a trust fund kid, living off my parents, or even getting broken off with money from them. This isn't to say my parents aren't uber supportive, encouraging and help me out in whatever ways they can... but I'm not some Beverly Hills brat whining about nothing.

I was curious as to if anyone else out there has ever found themselves in a similar situation with your parents, friends or other family members? Better yet, who do you have your car insurance with? Looks like I'll be shopping around for coverage lol.


GorgeousPuddin said...

I personally don't think you're being a brat! I have a few people in my life that have done things for me and I call it the Being Grateful For EVER Syndrome"

I totally feel you on this one!
Just because you helped me doesn't mean I have to be grateful forever?!? I thanked you at the time, AND I'm appreciative but dang! (Sorry to make it about me)LOL!

I had AAA and currently have AllState both are pretty good...

laundrygirl said...

I can’t say I have a solution but I can empathize. Due to health issues and a layoff, my in-laws have helped us quite a bit over the years. I have struggled with it the whole time, having grown up in a prideful family that will ‘make do’ before asking for help. My in-laws have been gracious and I am grateful for them and yet at times, especially now that we are pulling back and trying to move away from needing so much help, they hang their help over our heads. In many ways it feels like a power play and is very much wrapped up in reluctance to let the adult child be an adult. In this case, for the parent financial help is leverage for feeling justified to interject in their child’s life.
It’s a tough road lady and yet I feel you. And no, I don’t think you are a brat or a trust fund baby.

South Loop Social Light said...

@ GorgeousPuddin - That sounds like the perfect name of the syndrome lol. I think if you help someone it should be out of the kindness of your heart, not to have leverage over them. These aren't power plays... they should be nice gestures.

@ Laundrygirl - I agree with what you're saying. I think my mother is the type to love being needed (in a good way) but she loves to also have the leverage, though I doubt she'd ever follow through with making me really get my own insurance. It's more like her little "go to" for pulling my card I guess. In terms of your situation it's nice that your in-laws have been so willing to help... but it feels SO much better when you can stand on your own feet and do for yourself.

ShellyShell said...

This sounds very familiar! I'm in my 30's and my parents still pay my car insurance! LOL! It's a lot cheaper to have it upstate then it is in Brooklyn. I used to live in DC and it was the same thing. Anytime I get parking ticket and I forget to pay it and it gets sent to my parents house. I hear the bs! It drives me crazy! I was engaged living in houston and my parents were still paying! I'm appreciative but I can do without my mom running her mouth sometime!

South Loop Social Light said...

@ ShellyShell - Okay, you feel my car insurance pain!! lol... the things we have to endure lol... but it sounds like you have great parents.

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