Adventures on the CTA: The #29 bus is basically the Red Line

Taking the Red Line makes me feel gross, in general. I try to avoid the train at all costs and honestly only need to hop on it when I'm going to see K Dot. Other than that, the Red Line and I are not friends. There are a few ways I can navigate the city streets to get home... and when I want to avoid the Michigan Ave. traffic I typically take the #29 or #62 buses. Well, let me be the first to say, the #29 is basically the bus equivalent of the Red Line train. Me no likey. My life force is constantly being subjected to ratchet shenanigans and interesting things.

A few weeks ago I witnessed this lady on the bus subjecting everyone to a never-ending monologue about how the government had taken away her bi-racial grandchildren... and as proof she was pushing around an empty stroller! *pause* I wish I was bold enough to hold the camera directly in her face and film, but I'm not that intense... so treat this video as mainly audio, but you'll see I'm focused on her stroller.

Oh yeah, to make matters even more interesting, the lady only had like 3 teeth! *Le Sigh* Yes, 3... and none of them were touching. On top of that, another lady got on the bus and started co-signing the crazy, getting her really amped up. It was pretty funny and I couldn't get a straight face.

Adventures on the CTA: Green Line Struggles

Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover... case in point? This ratchet chick on the train. She was wearing some sort of Rocafella / House of Dereon jacket that smelled of fried chicken and starbursts, pushing a raggedy baby stroller, brown finger nails (no polish) and just oozing West Side. I tried to hold my *scrunch face* because it felt somewhat mean to judge her off of appearance, but seconds later she opened her mouth and confirmed all of my thoughts.

Waiting for the next CTA Adventure

Somewhere there is a man receiving a voice mail from an irate rat... she's going on and on about how he better call her back or she'll show up at his house. How her mother and him conspired to get her baby brother locked up and she's not playing with his ass. Real talk.

Oh, the struggles of the West Side Rat. I've never understood people that spazz out via phone... while on public transportation during the early morning rush. It's tragic and embarrassing. I shouldn't carry the weight of the Chicago Rat on my South Loop shoulders, but as a black woman I still get embarrassed when non-black people see black folks doing ratchet things. Am I alone in this struggle? I just want us to do better as a collective whole.

Adventures on the CTA - CTA Bandit

I don't know why I give this guy this much face time on my blog... but look who I saw this morning - - yet again rocking his white tee with the green bball hoop... and the same gymshoes (of course with the pulled up white socks). It's the CTA Bandit. At least his outfit has started to match the weather... or I guess he's been rocking the same thing since the winter so I maybe the weather has caught up to his outfit. I didn't even bother taking a picture of his blonde highlighted finger waves - my camera couldn't bear to see it... I did, however, manage to snap a pic of the ash that was taking over his legs. This dude is starting to irk me...

Adventures on the CTA

As I was riding the 151 to Water Tower last night a chill went down my spine. I noticed a man dressed in all black, 1 dangling earring, and shoes that told a story.... they had seen the depths of hell. I felt like he was some sort of rock 'n roll vampire and I was not trying to have him suck my blood, steal my soul, or make eye contact with me. I managed to put my CTA 007 skills to use and snap a few pics.

Sidebar: What drives a man to wear jeans that are this tight? Hell, I don't wear jeans this tight. You have to let your stuff breathe every once in a while. lol... And do his shoes make anyone else think of like a homeless, or down and out, version of Peter Pan? lol... Maybe it's just me.

Adventures on the CTA - Priceless Quotes Edition

Gosh, the CTA has been on a freaking role providing me with classic material. During my ride home today I encountered the most... umm, boisterous personality that I've come across in a while. In between laughs I was able to jot down a few of this lady's priceless quotes... Enjoy!

1. "We in a crowded ass elevator. You don't get any personal space."

2. "Bitch, push me again and I'm gon kick you in yo throat."

3."....then she cut my hours. All they can tell me to do is get the fuck outta the office."

4. "Fuck y'all. I'm gettin the stimulus package" ***my absolute favorite***

5. "You gotta be checkin these bus drivers. They be bogus throwin you all over the bus."

6. "Girl okaaaaayyyyyy! You is so wrong."

7. "He tried to make the book perplex to make you feel slow. I had to read it twice - 20 pages."

From the rest of my conversation jacking skills (though she was speaking loud as shit on the bus...) I was able to determine that her name was Nicolette and in addition to appearing to be in her 40s it's official that she set us back 52 years, 10 months and 8 days. Though her conversation was hilarious it's sad that we as black people continue to do ignorant shit on a daily basis. Try keeping your outrageous convos to a minimum while on the bus.

Adventures on the CTA: Double Whammy

Adventure 1: What to do when your bus driver runs into her old girlfriend from back in the day and proceeds to have a 2 min conversation while you rot on the "express" bus....

Sometimes my bus rides make me feel like I'm in a movie... a ghetto, low budget movie where everything is going awfully wrong and the dialogue is so bad you can't imagine that anyone actually wrote it that way...

Yesterday my bus driver took being hood to new levels when she proceeded to flag down her girlfriend from way back in the day who was standing at the bus stop, open the door, and carry on a (no joke) 2 min conversation about "so and so's birthday party that she just had to come to...blah blah blah..."After about 20 seconds I looked up from my blackberry to see why the bus was still at the stop. Wasn't this the Cottage Grove EXPRESS!!! I paused my mp3 player so I could hear what was going on. Was there some type of emergency? Why were we proceeding to just sit at the freaking stop? I overheard the murmurs of other passengers and immediately took notice of the bus driver who seemed to be carrying on a conversation. Upon a little more investigation I saw that she was talking to someone at the stop. "Oh Lord" I thought to myself... I was hoping that this didn't turn into one of those 10 o'clock news type of dramatic situations. I've seen some crazy stuff go down on the bus...

Well, as another 30 seconds passed I realized that the bus driver knew the lady she was talking to and they were gabbing about a party she just "couldn't miss". **blank stare** What the hell was this? Couldn't they exchange numbers and catch up later? I'm sorry but if your job is to drive the bus from point A to point B then why don't you try doing that. I don't want to have my time wasted as you catch up with your girl Shirley from out South. Save that shit for after you're off the clock....

Adventure 2: (chirp) Can you hear me now? How to not lose your mind when you're stuck on a crowded bus with ghetto ass gutter bugs that insist on having convos using their Nextel chirp.

This morning I was completely taken aback by this 6 foot something super duper gutter looking dude who was sitting on the bus and carrying on a lengthy convo via Nextel chirp. What the hell? First, I can't wrap my mind around why you'd actually want people on a crowded morning rush hour bus to hear the ins and outs of your conversation... let alone where you were raised to think that this type of thing was acceptable. I hate being around hood people. I'm allergic to everything about them... I was going to snap a pic but let's be real, I didn't want this dude to get crunk on me so I fell back. Black people we must do better. We have to.

Adventures on the CTA: "Feet Cold?"

Before I ended up on someone else's blog I decided to go ahead and put myself out there. Yesterday it was (according to weather.com) 20 degrees but felt like 9 and this didn't stop me from rocking my latest Steve Madden purchase.

Now, when I first got on the bus I noticed a few stares and what not but when the bus driver proceeded to ask "feet cold?" I knew there was an issue.

Yes, I'm wearing strappy stilettos... in the winter... and it's cold out... and a few snow flakes are falling.

And? Your point?

Women have suffered for fashion for years and I, by no means, am the exception. It was a little nippy outside but the leggings and sweater I was wearing did a good job of keeping me warm. I'm literally outside for 5 mins tops everyday so it was no biggie for me to brave the elements to be able to rock my shoes... and in case you're blind, have cataracts, or live under an f'ing rock - my shoes are the business, corporation, AND the man! (seeing as how we're in a recession that's a pretty good thing...)

I absolutely love my shoes and think that they are some of the most comfortable stilettos I've ever owned. These shoes were definitely made with a city girl in mind.

Adventures on the CTA: Cop Watch Edition

A co-worker of mine has become somewhat of an overnight sensation after filming an incident that turned physical between a cop and a guy on the CTA #70 Division bus. He has been interviewed by the local tv stations and appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, Chicago Tribune, and Red Eye. I usually post my "CTA Adventures" with a humorous twist, but I do think his video is interesting. From what he told me, the guy was asked to get off the bus by the officer numerous times before things became physical. My co-worker actually runs a site called ChicagoCopWatch.Org which is aimed at keeping police accountable for their actions... so having this happen while he was on the bus and being able to film it for his site was sort of like having a prize fall into his lap. I'm a firm believer in a system of checks and balances and think it's important to keep police officers accountable for their actions... so it's a good thing that this incident has been getting some media coverage. We don't always have to wait for someone to get shot or killed before the news takes a look at how the officers handled the situation. I've been on the bus and seen some interesting things and I do appreciate all that the CPD does for the city so in no way is this meant to bash them, but Police officers shouldn't be given some golden ticket to the city and allowed to act however they'd want. Do you think this officer was overly aggressive? Handled the situation just fine? Any thoughts?

Adventures on the CTA: Deja Vu

Last month I wrote a post about this random guy I saw on the bus wearing a white tee, white shorts, pulled up tube socks and sneakers. I was blown away by his audacity to run around the city in the dead of winter with no coat. I wasn't sure if he was unable to afford a coat, cracked out, or as my friend Jessica suggested "...from Antarctica where 11 degrees doesn't bother him". Well, guess how surprised I was when after stepping off the bus I was met with the site of him YET AGAIN rocking a white tee, white shorts and sneakers...and to top off this look, no coat! Chicago had some decent winter weather the last few days (in the 30s) but last night it snowed and this morning the temps had plummeted down to 11 degrees. Why in the world does this guy have no coat? Better yet, why is he dressing like this in the winter? Even if he was hiding this get up under a warm jacket it wouldn't dismiss the fact that he appears to be forever waiting for his invite to Puffy's White Party in the Hamptons. Dude, please get some long pants, a sweater and jacket. I promise the salvation army has it for under 10 bucks. I'm almost starting to think that he likes running around town looking like a train wreck. I had to snap some pics when I saw him... it was too priceless to pass up. What are the odds...



And if you need a reminder of what he looked like last month:

Adventures on the CTA: Seedy Situation

My daily CTA rides had started to become quite mundane providing little amusement. Could the bus really just take me to and from work? Well, last night the CTA God's opened up the gates of heaven and poured down a little blog-worthy material for me.

Black folks - I understand our obsession with sunflower seeds! They're good. They're kinda fun to eat, sucking off the salt, cracking open the shell, eating the seed, spitting the shell out - - It's a blast. However, could we please learn to use a napkin, cup, SOMETHING to put the shells in after we're done? I don't think the floor of the bus is the appropriate resting spot for all of your sunflower seed remnants. I was appalled and slightly embarrased for our race when I was on the bus last night because you just knew that someone of a wonderful brown shade had sat there and proceeded to feast on seeds and throw them on the floor. Why can't we take better care of things that are ours? I know it's just the bus but damn. They just rose the rates for 2009 and it's annoying that people continue to treat public transportation like shit.

I'm someone that hates how people are using Barack Obama being the President to prove a point but ... Barack Obama is the President now. We can take a little more pride in how we present ourselves to the world around us and for whoever had to watch this person grub on seeds and then spit them on the floor, ewww...

From my pics it looks like the the bag just fell on the floor and the seeds spilled out, but I assure you (since I sat in the damn seat) the seeds were all missing and just cracked shells remained.

Any thoughts?

Adventures on the CTA

I was heading to work this morning (early might I add) when this guy stepped onto the bus. I was mortified to see his gym shoes, pulled up white socks, white shorts - - yes shorts in the freaking winter, white tee with a basketball rim, and his Al Sharpton inspired perm (to make things worse his hair was highlighted gold) ... and the kicker is that he wasn't wearing a jacket! It's January in Chicago and besides being under a blizzard watch, there is snow on the ground and a chill in the air.


Thanks to being back in action with my blackberry I was able to snap a few pics. My favorite is when after getting off of the bus we passed him standing outside and he looked like some tragic victim of photoshop. Everyone else is bundled up except for him.


Now, I don't know this guy's story or why in the world he was prancing around town like this but to make this story a little heartwarming it does encourage you to donate some clothes - especially during the winter months. I have 2 big bags of things to take to Goodwill and urge everyone to follow suit. We must all do our part to try and prevent instances like this hot mess from walking the streets!