Jan 3, 2013

New Year, New Me: The Cloud of Divorce has Lifted (video)

I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to start this year off with ZERO baggage and in a truly balanced state of mind. I spent the entire year of 2012 going through a legal separation and divorce, and while it was one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced in my life, I feel better for having successfully weathered the storm. I've learned so many lessons about love, life and myself... but what is ringing most true and loudly for me right now is this:

New Year's Eve 2013
Your life and the current state of everything in it is a reflection of the choices you've made. It's up to you, and you alone, to create your own happiness. I believe God has a plan for all of us, but we're charged with making sure we wake up each day and are proactively taking steps towards getting closer to our dreams.

We should never be void of dreams and goals. Every moment we're blessed with breath we should spend it striving to fulfill something.

Yes, it's safe to say I'm on cloud 9 shitting sunshine and glitter. Life is short and when you've made it through something you never thought you could handle alone, it puts everything in perspective. Nobody ever said life was easy and each day you have to fight for what you want... but know that no matter what life is throwing your way, you can and WILL get through it. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, but nothing worth having will come easy. There will always be work and some level of sacrifice that must be made.

I don't want to sound preachy or stay on this rant for too long... but having my marriage fall apart and being faced with the reality that all of "our plans" were no longer going to happen was a tough pill to swallow.

No shit... this was draining, emotional, enraging, enlightening... it really shook me to my core and now that I've gotten past it I have so much clarity, happiness, joy, perspective... wisdom! Life throws you lemons and sometimes you have to say fuck that, I wanted La Croix lol. A total life force remix!

My close friends and parents were an amazing support system for me, but at the end of the day when I was left with my own thoughts I had to weather this storm alone. I feel like I fought for my happiness and peace of mind and there's nothing anyone can do to minimize this period in my life or how impacting it was. I know that I'm better for having this experience and hope to share joy and encouragement with others out there.

So yeah... I'm pretty much radiating happiness!! I know folks don't like happy people lol, so I at least wanted everyone to understand the source of my joy... and umm... this shit has been over a year in the making so please know that I have zero fucks to give for those that continue to live struggle lives with no intention of doing better.

Otherwise, Happy Freaking New Year!!!


Bajan Beauty said...

Dang! I am sorry to hear about your divorce! I know we had spoke about some things behind the scenes and I wanted to ask you how things were going but didn't feel like it was appropriate. I am glad that you are happy. Shit I was happy as hell when my divorce was final, I swear I felt like doing the crip walk out of the court room, lol. I am glad you are good gurl =)

Bri said...

Personally I am happy for you, this past year....is exactly that the PAST. I wish you nothing but happiness today and everyday Ishea. We should meet for drinks in Chicago one day : ) and toast to the guys who lost out

South Loop Social Light said...

@ Bajan Beauty - Yes, thank you so much for talking to me while I was going through everything. I feel very happy with the way things turned out and am thrilled to be over with it. I filed pro se so it was interesting to say the least handling it on my own without a lawyer, but a better on my wallet. I wasn't sure if I should hit my dougie out of the court room or what lol

South Loop Social Light said...

@ Bri - We will not waste a toast to men of the past lol... but I'm always down to raise a glass to the future and being amazeballs! Come to Chicago and let's have a drink.

Brittany said...

I know you're glad that's over!! I would have hit my dougie too if I was you because I know how diffcult this whole process has been on you. Like you said its about moving forward, leaving things in the past and learning from those things. Like you said life is short, so don't delay the happy (yes I quoted that from the Big C lol)but it's true.

Bri said...

I am in Chicago, actually in the west suburbs doll! I hear you on the wasting of alcohol....thats a no-no *what was I thinking*

Tanya Preister said...

So happy for you that you moved past that season WHOLE and living/loving in your new season! Congrats to ya

Anonymous said...

Ending a marriage is never an easy decision to make, or a journey to take. Thankfully, your family and friends never left your side during your journey; which helped you a lot to hasten your healing progress. Anyway, the new year often symbolizes hope, happiness and a fresh start. And I’m glad that was exactly how you welcomed it.

Audrey Butler @ A. GoodBlatt

Sammy Jackson said...

I’m glad you started the year full of enthusiasm. You’ve already been through a tough battle, and I think you deserve to celebrate now that it’s over. And I think the support you got from people around you helped you get through everything. I wish you all the best!

Sammy Jackson @ Ken Phillips Law

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