Mar 11, 2011

Information Overload...

Last night my husband and I were watching TV and engaging in our usual playful banter when he said one of his many priceless comments. Almost instantly I took to Facebook to share the comment with the world when he stopped me in my tracks.

"Why does every detail have to be shared online?"

The question was valid and it got me to thinking about the life of a blogger's spouse. Of course I'm sure bloggers (and not their spouses) are reading this post right now, but if you're in a relationship how do you balance the amount of your personal life you share online while being respectful of what your spouse wants.

With Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook making it so easy to share every mundane detail of our lives with the world, when should we draw the line? My husband brought up the point that if you're sharing everything with everyone, what parts do you keep sacred and just between the two of you.

I've seen bloggers tweet throughout the birth of their children, surgery, and other moments that may seem private... but this conversation made me think of celebrity relationships and how they often crash and burn.... especially for someone like Kim Kardashian, for instance. Every part of her life is played out in front of the cameras, she is attached to her blackberry, and constantly giving her fans updates. It seems like nothing is off limits and it makes me wonder if her relationships have failed because nothing is sacred. On the flip side, I gain a bit more respect for a couple like Beyonce and Jay-Z that have managed to be in the limelight but keep their relationship private.

My husband and I were friends for years prior to dating and getting married, so my blogging was something that he accepted from the start. While he is still of the mindset that I "share too much" information, he's extremely understanding and supportive that this is something I love.

So... for the bloggers and vloggers out there, how do you determine when you need to hold back, bite your tongue, and not share something?


Niki McNeill said...

Oh man did I learn this the hard way!!!! When I started my blog I was actually in a break from my boyfriend and I would make comments about him on the blog that weren't really negative about HIM just unnecessary...

...later on i did a terrible, terrible thing in venting about him and putting very personal info out there... I so regretted it that I apologized and wrote and open letter to him on the blog.

That was 3 years ago, I learned my lesson then and NEVER talk about my relationship on my blog/facebook/twitter at all unless it's something positive worth sharing. It's so tempting when you feel the need to vent but so not worth it!

laundrygirl said...

I almost never talk about my husband on my blog. I used to but in general he was never a big fan of it and over the years, I have found it important to keep our relationship between us (thanks to too many meddling family members...)
The other thing I have noticed which really bugs me is when couples are both on FB and they say 'I love you' to one another in their status updates. They are more than likely in the same house, if not the same room so why do we need to witness their affection? It's like PDA on the web. I think, what do they have to prove?
In a nutshell, it cheapens intimacy.

P.S. I love this... said...

I typically don't share personal stuff about our relationship on my blog.. I'm quite reserved about what I share in general with actual family and friends and that has just been carried over to my blogging. When I did share our wedding photos, I asked him if he was ok with it..which he was.

I do agree that some people do share way too much information online. It's creating a transparent atmosphere which I'm not certain is a good idea. Just my .02

South Loop Social Light said...

@ Niki - I can relate to that... I was never venting about my ex, but I wrote about life and his family would read and ask him questions lol... he was VERY annoyed that they would know stuff he didn't want to share.

@ Laundrygirl - Haha, yes! The over the top FB displays of affection. My husband and I used to be like that but mainly when we were long distance and he was deployed in Afghanistan.

@ PS - My husband and I got married in Vegas and funny enough have NO pictures from the actual ceremony... but I know he wouldn't want to share them on the blog. He's more open about what we share on FB because neither of us collect friends on there and we have our security parameters set up rather well.

laundrygirl said...

I can totally understand when couples are communicating long distance and express affection (like when people are in the military and deployed...) but the few couples I know who do this are in the same HOUSE, sometimes in the same room!

South Loop Social Light said...

@ LaundryGirl - What's even worse is when you find couples that live in the SAME house arguing via Facebook updates and airing out all their dirty laundry.

P.S. I love this... said...

Wow @ FB arguments while in the same house. That's crazy. The hubs and I don't FB nor Twitter..

E's said...

All this writing has opened me up more - the blogging, FB, stories, and storytelling. I used to be a thought-hermit b/c my grandma would say, "Don't tell your business!" But now I'm more like a open book, which is liberating (corny, I know).

But that's better half may not share the same freedom. Luckily, my gf is an open book too. But I do warn or ask before I share too much. And I have decent intuition on those things.

Hey SLSL! Long time... :)

T said...

This is a good topic. For me, Dr's visits, bedroom and bathroom activities are off limits, everything else is fair game. I don't think I've been in a relationship since I've started blogging, so I don't have to take anyone's feelings into consideration, but my own.

I also don't tell men I'm dating that I blog and I don't have any pictures of myself on my blog, so they'd be hard pressed to find me. I also have men on limited profile on Facebook and I don't date anyone who follows me on Twitter.

So I guess I'm more private about WHO I share certain information with. I think, anyway.

Great topic!

South Loop Social Light said...

@ PS - Yes, I've seen couples in full out battles via Facebook... airing out all their dirty laundry. It's not a good look.

@ E - Glad to see you back!! "Thought Hermit"... I like that term. Yes, writing can be very liberating and just being able to tell your story, share with others, and connect is nice.

@ T - I can understand the precautions you're taking. One of my girlfriends detailed the ups and downs of her dating life via her blog and a guy she had dated ended up finding it, realizing she had written about him, and freaking out! Needless to say she shut that blog down.

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