Lately it looks like Kanye West has boycotted hair cuts. He's been looking, well...."rough" would be putting it nicely. My friend wrote a hilarious open letter to Mr. West's hair. The original can be found
here (He also has a funny open letter to
Sarah Palin and
Facebook)
Dear Kanye West’s Hair: Would you please tell the person with whom you share DNA to taper you down? No samples will be necessary … yet. But we, his fans, want to help in any way possible. We all understand that he’s been through a lot in the last year or so. The album 808s & Heartbreak aside, nothing has said that better than you, his hair.
For the last six months, I’m pretty sure you’ve been screaming at him for the shears the way a dusty car would be yelping at its owner for a wash. To no avail. The problem is that Kanyeezy thinks he can do no wrong. He earnestly believes he “could stand there in a Speedo, and be looked at like a (bleeping) hero.” Those are his words, not mine. And that’s some serious false hope.
I wish that Icould tell him that you, his hair, look as bad as a baby with diarrhea smells. If he literally wants to be “the (poop) and the urine,” so be it. But I don’t think it’s a sound idea, and I think we, his fans, have the man’s best (public) interests at heart. He’s my favorite rapper. I want him to succeed.
But it’s tough when all I can do is shake my head when I see him on television. Seriously, you were at the Grammy Awards with him. You know what you two looked like on stage with Wayne, Jay, T.I. and M.I.A. (Lord, I don’t have the brain capacity to comprehend why that woman was on that stage looking like a pregnant ladybug ready for her water to break). Can you make sense of the debauchery that is Kanye’s head? Did you even try to stop him or try to talk him into putting on a hat or a comb through you before he hit the stage?
It’s hard to support a man known for being clean cut when he openly decides that wants to be the Black Shaggy from Scooby Doo. It would be different if he was Anthony Hamilton, and if you were a part of that soulful image. That would be acceptable. Kanye is supposed to be the preppy, smart aleck rapper who keeps that fresh taper consistent. But you, Kanye’s hair, are just a danger to the black man who potentially thinks you are a good non-haircut.
I know you have little control, and I don’t know what to tell you to do. I guess I’d suggest that you just keep screaming as loud as possible in the morning so that when Kanye looks at the man in the mirror you startle him so much that he sees glimpses of Michael Jackson about 30 years ago. That should scare him into the barber’s chair. I hope.
Sincerely,
Dame (definitely not Dash)
The City - Whitney (sticking to the reality script of everyone having to start off as friends) invited Olivia to a concert to watch Jay and his band perform. Olivia rocks Chanel on the regular... I wouldn't even waste my breath inviting her to a dive bar... let alone be seen in a place like that myself. After a few outfit changes Olivia was ready to go but the girls were running late. Whitney and Erin are like the worlds most passive people. I would've left Olivia if it were really that serious to be there by a certain time... or better yet, it's NY. Just let her hop in a cab and meet y'all there! Instead, Erin and Whitney nervously drank champagne and made crazy "we're running late but afraid to rush the almighty queen bee" faces. They finally arrived to the show, late of course, and while watching Jay perform (their music isn't that good to me... they remind me of a band that plays cover songs at a hotel in Hawaii) Olivia awkwardly moved to some beat and kept bumping into the girl next to her. Just because your rich doesn't mean you're void of rhythm. I suggest Olivia take a dance class or something STAT... but maybe all you need to do is look cute as you sip champagne in your VIP booth... Feeling "bad" about leaving early and making Whitney late for the show (this is what they want us to believe) Olivia gets Jay's band a gig at some charity event her friend is throwing. It's a swank hotel and Nevan and Olivia are shit faced that Jay and his bandmates show up in plaid shirts. They keep referring to them as the "plaid mafia"... I like Nevan because he's flamboyant but manages to still play the "I'm straight" card but he was being a tool the entire night. After his set, Jay grabs Whitney and they storm out. Olivia is disgusted that she wasn't thanked for setting the gig up for him. 
How dare he bite the hand that just fed him. Fast forward to Olivia and Whitney at work the next day. You can tell the uneasy tension that's in the air. The girls exchange a few words ( I really was hoping Whitney would throw a "fuck you bitch" or "kick rocks" towards Olivia... but no such luck). Olivia wins this round and keeps the upperhand throughout the conversation. She advises Whitney that they keep their work life separate from their personal lives. I can tell that things are going downhill from here. In other news, Erin is going back and forth between dating her current boyfriend (Duncan) or her ex and first love, J.R. Her story line is not nearly as pathetically dramatic as Allie but from next week's preview it looks like MTV will find a way to force a love triangle.
Daddy's Girls - Jessica is desperate for a larger butt (aren't all black girls?) and is eating everything in site to get one. She states that she wants her "track booty" back and the majority of the episode is spent watching her eat breakfast foods junk food and protein shakes. 
Vanessa and Angela are starting to feel cramped (due to Jessica staying in their living room) and start the process of looking for a house. (I wonder what'll happen to their neighbor Alycia when they move out of their "hills" apartment). They view a few different places and end up falling in love with one (see right) They make an offer and we'll have to see if they get the house.
