Best Life: Sex 101

The Oprah show has been featuring their "best life" series this week. Last night I sat in amazement as I watched various couples on stage openly discussing their sex lives, or lack thereof. One story that stood out was a married couple of 24 years in which the wife had not had an orgasm in 20 years. Yes, you read that right - - 20 years! It was somewhat heartbreaking to see this woman sitting there opening up to the world about everything that wasn't happening in her bedroom. I glanced at her husband...how embarrassing to have your wife putting you on blast in front of millions that you weren't handling business. Oprah brought on Dr. Laura Berman who counseled the various couples. Here are her 5 tips to a better sex life:

1. Tell the truth - Of course you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you have to be honest. If it wasn't that great, you didn't climax, etc...put it out there.

2. Ask for what you want - You can't really complain about your sex life is you're not vocalizing what it is that you want. You have to throw your spouse a bone. Nobody is a mind reader...ask and you shall receive.

3. Let Go - Dr. Berman stressed the need to let go of any negative messages you've heard about sex (i.e. "good girls don't do this", etc...)

4. See the Doctor - Dr. Berman suggested that if you think there's a real problem you shouldn't hesitate to see your doctor. Most medical issues can be fixed.

5. Make your sex life a priority - Even though planned sexual encounters can seem unromantic, Dr. Berman urged that relying on spontaneity doesn't work in long term relationships. If you plan to set aside at least one or two days a week that will be focused on building and nurturing your sex life, you will start to notice changes in other areas as well.

Adventures on the CTA: Hood Operation

Tonight I experienced something like no other - - the #12 bus! Wow. This bus is like stepping into a space ship straight into the land of ghetto, hood operations! First off, my bus driver (though he was really friendly) smelled like cigarettes, wait...loose squares...yes! He smelled like loose squares and lollipops! Now, this is a strange combo but he was sucking on a lollipop as I boarded the bus...and he had probably finished smoking a few loose squares so it made a bit of sense. The ride was going well until we pulled up to the train. That's where things took a hood turn. I thought that my many rides on the #3 and #4 (which service the South Side) had prepared me for the eccentric personalities on the bus -- not so much. I didn't know if we were at the train station or doing a pickup at 26th & California (for my non-Chicago folks that's where the cook county jail is). Busses that travel to the West side are no joke. The folks on there are so rough they make you want to clutch your purse and looks straight forward. Maybe I'm being tough on them...but when people openly smoke joints at the bus stop, talk about their PO's (parole officers) and how their "court cases have them fucked up" it makes you question why you really took the bus instead of just driving - - or maybe that's just me. Moving along, I was thrilled when my stop came up and flew off the bus. All in all, it was a unique experience. I really didn't believe that the bus could be so hood...Folks, we really must do better!

Adventures on the CTA: Foolywang Edition

Where do I begin....

I've come to terms that the CTA provides countless moments of entertainment and I've learned to make the most out of my daily rides by taking in the sights and sounds of my fellow passengers...they never disappoint.

Today as we approached Michigan/Balbo, I looked out the window and noticed a guy standing at the bus stop...rolling a cigarette. Really? What year is it? People still roll cigarettes...at the bus stop? On a cold winter day during a snow storm? I was beyond baffled. Not to mention this guy had to be in his mid/late 60s and was still stuck in some 70s time warp.

With the cold temps I've tried my best to ignore the flashy furs that men throw on. After my bus ride to work this morning I must draw the line. I walked onto the bus and observed a guy - he stood out for all the wrong reasons. First, I noticed his eyes...he was rocking green contacts. (insert my eye roll here...dark skinned guys and colored contacts is wrong). He was rocking a brown "fur" (it was fake) and his nails...well, he had a full acrylic set with an American manicure. I tried to stop myself from laughing - - it was extremely hard. I wish the nightmare stopped there...but get this, he was also rocking a COCKTAIL ring on his left hand ring finger. I understand metro sexual. I like metro sexual...but this was something completely different. I don't know what it's called but it must be stopped.

Men - keep wearing your furs, rock your colored contacts (though I may throw up in my mouth) but please leave the acrylic nails and cocktails rings to the ladies. There's no need to play dress up...at 10am...on the CTA. Obviously you're on your way somewhere but it's not a good look.

**sidenote: Maybe he worked at the Forever21 on Michigan/Grand. All the guys that work there are, ummm fierce? lol...**

Me No Likey

I'm adamant that wealthy celebrities have no excuse to look a mess - especially when their image is their business. Beyonce stepped out to the "Notorious" movie premiere last night in this get up. I'm disappointed in her. She looked a mess to me. I don't like the sloppy look of the dress, the shawl is...well, is it part of the dress or separate? Her hair didn't seem to be done...and if that's a lace front, umm...I just know. Beyonce usually kills the fashion game on the red carpet so I'm not used to seeing her look so thrown together. What do you think?

Beyonce at the premiere last night


Typical "Red Carpet" Beyonce

Random Ramblings

I just realized that I have a new favorite picture. This is a picture of me and 2 of my bffs at my birthday/going away party this past summer. I had a wonderful night. (I'm on the right)

I can't watch tv without seeing the preview for The Unborn. I'm all about scary movies but this movie seems ridiculous. On top of that, where do they find these creepy ass kids to play in these movies? Really...the kid in the preview is slightly warped and theatrical make-up aside, he does look scary..ghastly, if you will.

I know that it's the start of the new year and everyone is all charged about sticking to their resolutions...but damn! The gym is SO crowded now. I mean, people are out of control at the gym. I've been going a lot lately and these classes have been kicking my ass. I hit a dead end working out on my own. A person can only handle so much of the treadmill and weight lifting. Attending various classes has really rejuvenated my exercise regime. Also, I've been eating healthy...or as I like to say, smarter, lately. I'm starting to realize that I hate chicken. I'm bored with salmon and other fish as well. I really have been OD'ing on salads, some soups...doing my best to avoid steak, pork chops, etc like the plague. It'd be nice to have a personal chef.

Just as I was getting back to enjoying driving my car around the city the snow has hit once again. Now, my car is parked on the side of the road, covered in snow (along with a ton of other cars). I really need to invest in a garage spot.

I love HGTV. I think my mother's obession with all things real estate, home improvement and interior desing rubbed off on me. I could literally sit at home and watch HGTV all day long.

I was anti watching the new season of The Real World but while laying on the couch it happened to be on. I watched. lol...I'm not a fan...yet, but it's not that bad. Of course they have the token black girl. She was pretty lowkey this first episode. I'm not sure what her deal is yet. They have a post-op trangendered person...a soldier who was in Iraq, a Mormom, a gay guy who works at Sea World, some white chick that wants to pursue being a hip hop dancer, the token black chick, a gym hoe (personal trainer)and the edgy white girl with the bob and tats. I will commend MTV for at least putting together a more intellectual stimulating cast - in the sense that there is no "dumb blonde". This may be a show to check out and since it's on MTV you know they'll have about a million reruns.

I've done my good deed for the month. Our neighbor left their car lights on and I did the nice thing and told them! There's nothing worse than getting into your car in the dead of winter and having your battery be drained.

Nip Tuck

Following up to my blog yesterday about plastic surgery - I was speaking with the same friend today and found out that our friend going under the knife has already had her chin done (in addition to her nose) and was considering lipo too. Now, the reason this is so humorous to me is because she is a beautiful girl. Really, she is...and not in the "I only say that because she's my friend" type of way. Whenever I've looked at her in the past I didn't see anything that plastic surgery needed to fix. So, here she is going on her 3rd plastic surgery and she's not even 25yo yet. It made me think about how addictive plastic surgery can be and how if you're not secure in yourself it's kind of like a gateway drug to driving you insane. Before you know it, nothing will be good enough and you'll be dropping all type of dough to have this nipped and that tucked.

Where am I going with this? I think everyone just needs to take some time out and embrace themselves for who they are, flaws included. We are our own worst critics but you need to learn to be your own cheerleader as well!