Meghan Markle's Engagement Gives Me Excitement, Not Hope

Let's talk about the absolute TRASH headline ABC News published this morning:

While I try to unscrew my face and get my eyes out of the furthest reaches of my head, a few things we're not about to do...

1) We're not about to pretend like black women didn't have any "hope" for relationships, marriage, successful careers, or all-around dopeness before Meghan Markle entered the scene, before she started dating HRH Prince Harry, and before they got engaged.

2) Let's not pretend like marriage and being "chose" is the epitome of making it and something everyone dreams about, hopes for, or actually wants for their life.

3) Let's dead the TIRED ASS NARRATIVE that black women are seriously sitting around looking to celebrity relationships as a guide for our romantic lives, needing to cling onto anything to give us "hope" that we too can get married and have what others deem as "it all".

4) Let's also not act like there aren't a TON of amazing black women out there offering daily inspiration and #BlackGirlMagic independent of a man or any romantic relationship.

It's disappointing to see trash headlines like ABC News missing the mark on WHY black women in particular are EXCITED (not hopeful) about Meghan Markle's engagement.

So often black women are made to seem less than desirable as partners... told that if you're on the other side of your 30s, divorced, focused on your career, etc... you won't be wanted, should settle for "what you can get" and that something is wrong with you as-is. All of this is nonsense and seeing someone like Meghan Markle navigate that space on an international stage, carry herself well, and have her partner PROUDLY claiming his love and adoration for the entire world to see, that gives me excitement, not hope.

It's exciting to see myself and my mother in her mother... to see a beautiful brown woman, educated, with locs and full edges, focused on self-care, raise a great human being and have those images shown all around the world!

To see someone who is at the height of wealth/status PROUDLY CLAIMING Meghan Markle, someone who on paper has a few stats that men who don't have a cent to their name would criticize and dissect... it's pretty fucking cool... and petty, but also really cool.

None of these are things that I feel black women were sitting around twiddling our thumbs and waiting to see happen, but let's not act like this isn't a HUGE deal. Anyways, who else is ready for this wedding? See y'all on May 26th, 2018!

Meghan Markle: Biracial Black Princess #RoyalAF

Yes, I know her title will technically be Duchess of Sussex, but I do plan on referring to her as Princess Meghan. Now that that's out of the way... it's Friday, the world is still trash, and literally the only thing that matters to me right now is that Meghan Markle is engaged to HRH Prince Harry and about to add some much-needed #Melanin to the Royal Family!!! I saw the news earlier this week (read: in the middle of the night thanks to being sick and on a wonky sleep schedule) when my favorite writer Demetria Lucas D'Oyley (who stans for the couple) posted updates!!!!

First off, if you haven't watched their official interview together go do that now. It should be required viewing before proceeding to read this post and make any decisions on how you feel about them as a couple. I get that everyone isn't into celebrity culture, but people I personally know who consume copious amounts of trash, have had interesting things to say about the intrigue surrounding Meghan and this royal coupling. Let's not act like this isn't a big deal...




I've noticed the media doing in-depth reporting on her father and his side of the family (presumably because he's white and the siblings seem to be chatty), but I wanted to highlight her mother who is oozing #BlackGirlMagic all over my timeline. Doria Radlan, mother of the future Duchess of Sussex, is a psychotherapist and yoga instructor in California and all-around kween. Please make sure you're saying kween in your Abbi and Illana Broad City voice. She deserves that.

What's also exciting for me is seeing a black woman... beautiful brown skin, educated, focused on wellness, gorgeous locs, edges flourishing... it's really cool to have that visibility on a national stage and add depth and diversity to the images we see of black women. Her mom is modern and dope af. Yassss to all that #NoirPixieDust.

I've also been saddened in particular to see so many Black people coming for Meghan wondering "how black she is" and to what degree she "claims her blackness". She wrote a great essay for Elle last year describing her experience as a biracial woman and it's one I'd encourage everyone to read. She takes pride in the heritage of both her parents and chooses to identify as a biracial woman.

I'm not biracial and have no clue what that experience is like, but as a black woman in an interracial relationship, if I had kids I'd be heartbroken if they didn't claim me... and as amazing of a man and partner as my bae is, if they didn't claim him, it's break my heart even more.

I like to focus on the fact that her two parents came together and made a beautiful, intelligent human being who seems to use her platform for good and has a solid understanding of who she is and where both sides have come from and through. So, yes to raising more amazing humans!


On a personal note, as someone who has 2 black parents, but was raised in a predominately white neighborhood, I was plagued with the question of "why do you talk like that" or statements of "you're not black enough", so I'm definitely more sensitive to this topic.


Okay -- so the fun things I'm secretly waiting for:

1) Her mom to show up to the wedding front row with her locs FLOURISHING showcasing #Melanin all over TV screens across the world.

2) Meghan to rock her curls! Her hair will get wet at some point and I hope they photograph her curls looking bomb.

3) Their future kids to have gorgeous, coarse, frizzy ass hair and look insanely cute

4) Just how sickening this wedding guest list will be!!! President Obama and First Lady Michelle, Serena Williams... maybe even Beyonce!!! I'm hosting a watch party and will be indulging in all things royal.

Science of Spirits 10/13 21+ After Hours with @PacSci

Do you know the difference between whiskey, bourbon, scotch and rye? Do you know that Whiskey and Whisky are 2 different things? Have you ever tried vodka made from grapes?

If you're like me and a fan of hard liquor, but have zero clue how your favorite spirit is made, the Science of Spirits is the perfect educational boozy event for you!

This Friday (10/13) the Pacific Science Center is teaming up with over 15 local distilleries for an educational night of boozy fun. Attendees will sip on samples, discuss the distilling process and discover the science behind their favorite spirits with the makers themselves! The evening will also include access to the tide pool, tropical butterfly house, Halloween "myths, legends and the night sky" in the planetarium, and playing Dr. Frankenstein by creating your own 'FrankenToy'.

Tickets are $45 and includes drinks and after-hours access. Food will be available for purchase (cash only). Click here to purchase tickets.

This is a 21+ event.

Beyoncé Laser Lemonade 10/13 Pacific Science Center (via @PacSci)

The Pacific Science Center is back with another DOPE Beyoncé laser show! This time they'll be rocking out to Queen Bey's iconic Lemonade album for a show they're calling "Laser Lemonade."

Back in February I went to their regular Beyoncé laser show, which featured music from her entire catalog, including Destiny's Child... but was thrilled to learn "Laser Lemonade" would focus solely on her Lemonade album, which is one of my favs. I mean, I'm still in formation and was actually learning the Formation World Tour choreography in my living room last week.

I'm already drinking tea to warm up my vocal chords so I can prepare to sing along. I can't promise this won't turn into karaoke for me.

Laser Lemonade kicks off this Friday, 10/13 @ 10:30p and tickets are $12. The show is 60 mins and please note that there will be NO LATE SEATING, so you should plan to arrive at least 15-30  mins early so you can snag a seat.

I'm not sure how long Laser Lemonade will run, but they have 1030p show times planned for the remaining Fri/Sat dates in October. Cop your ticket and prepare to get your entire life!

Click here to purchase tickets.

Movement for Change @KaisaFit + @Lululemon

Seattle-based fitness coach and all-around dope chick KaisaFit is my eternal fitness bae. Not only does she inspire hundreds of thousands of people each day with her message of positivity and focus on "just moving", but she also has a heart for giving back. She's a woman who talks the talk, and walks the walk (or in most cases does a dope ass leap)... always putting action behind her words.

Tomorrow morning (9/30 @ 10a) Kaisa will be leading an amazing workout that is geared to ALL levels at the UW Husky Stadium. The icing on the cake? 100% of proceeds will go toward Stolen Youth, a Seattle-based non-profit.

This will be my 4th or 5th workout with Kaisa and every time she's been amazing. She embodies such a positive, vibrant energy and passion for fitness and health.

On top of that, she caters to ALL LEVELS, so if you're feeling intimidated by her sickening skills on Instagram don't fret. She always shows a few variations of each moment and truly is a coach that meets you where you are.

I'll be out there tomorrow, so if you see me come say hi! Or maybe give me a hug if I look like struggle bus city lol... My activity level has been a tad bit low this month with the move from Cap Hill to West Seattle. I'm looking forward to sweating with everyone and raising money for a great cause.

Suggested donation for the event is $15. Click here to register.

Let's Talk About Therapy...

I'll never forget the day -- sitting in my car, the parking lot of Metropolitan Market in Queen Anne, crying on the phone having ANOTHER f*cking breakdown... that's when my mom said I needed to "speak to a professional" because my daily phone calls had turned into a "downer" and she sometimes didn't want to answer the phone. My mom has loved me through all my phases in life, but when it became a drain on her life force, she set up a very gentle boundary and encouraged me to seek the next step in self-care. I've now been in therapy for a little over 3 years and it's still one of the best decisions and financial investments I've made.

Hoping to encourage at least one person to speak with a professional therapist and take a proactive step in their self-care. You don't have to be "crazy" or have your life falling apart to seek a therapist, though if your shit is a hot mess you should run (not walk) to one. Therapy goes beyond the notion of "praying your way" through things (which many of us have been told), and is a vital step in loving yourself, acknowledging your past, PROCESSING AND HEALING AND LETTING GO, forgiveness, gaining new tools to conquer each day, having a healthier relationship with yourself and those around you, taking ownership of your shit and DOING BETTER AS YOU KNOW BETTER... it's just the best thing you can do.

It can be expensive, but there are so many options out there. Also know that some therapists offer a sliding scale, do pay what you can, or have referrals to someone who is qualified and in your price range. Therapy isn't convenient and will be a sacrifice for many -- but know that it's a SOLID investment and worth every single coin you'll spend.

If you feel comfortable, please share your experiences with therapy in the comments and feel free to share this post/link with your friends.

A quote I like:
"If you don't deal with your shit now... your shit will deal with you later."