Do your Eyebrows need an Intervention?

I was getting ready to write a blog post about how my eyebrows needed an intervention when I was stopped in my tracks. One of my favorite Instagram makeup artists - - MissDrini - - posted a picture of her eyebrow journey and I'll be damned... there was no topping it!!

Source

Can we take a moment to praise God for the redemptive power of his grace! Not only can he walk on water and part the seas... he can also grow your eyebrows back!!! That's a true miracle.

So, yeah... I'm hiding my tweezers from myself and focusing on staying consistent with my threading sessions.

Puppy Pulling Your Hoe Card?

While you've been living your life... going to work, going out and being awesome, maybe being consistent in Luvvie's #31WriteNow blog challenge, I've been adjusting to life as the pet parent of a puppy! It's been 10 years since I had a puppy and I'm quickly remembering how consuming they are. 

Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but since I was born with a soft spot for 4 legged friends, it's safe to say the puppy is running me... or as my boyfriend would say, she's pulling my hoe card lol. Just take a look at my Instagram (above)... yes, I can officially admit that I'm obsessed with my dog.

Khaleesi is the insanely adorable puppy that entered our lives last week and has proceeded to be the center of all things. My boyfriend would paint a different picture (he's much more of a disciplinarian), but my life force is mush.

When she whimpers, whines, or moans... I'm on high alert to make sure she's okay. *Le sigh* She just hit 12 weeks on Thursday, so I'm bracing myself for another 3 months of work housebreaking her and getting out of the teething phase! Jesus be a chew toy... this puppy thinks everything is fair game for her nibbling desires, me in particular lol.

Sidebar: I'm happy we didn't buy that new couch!!

You're Probably in a Toxic Relationship

Yesterday my friend Shari (owner of Bon Bon Vie - - go buy her dope shirts and read her blog) shared an amazing post on Facebook titled "6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal." 

I thought it was going to be a silly post with over exaggerated habits, but color me stunned that the list contained ACTUAL toxic habits that many deem annoying, but very normal and in most cases tolerable! As I read the list I felt horrified that I had experienced almost all of the toxic habits... either dishing it out or receiving it.

The article, written by Mark Manson, went on to describe the following 6 habits:

1. The Relationship Scorecard
2. Dropping "Hints" and other Passive-Aggression
3. Holding the Relationship Hostage
4. Blaming your Partner for your own Emotions
5. Displays of "Loving" Jealousy
6. Buying the Solutions to Relationship Problems.

Below is a short version of what was listed in the original post. I urge you to click here for the full post because it's a must-read! I think what surprised me most is that I struggle with some of these things on my own, independent of a romantic relationship. I think it's crucial to be aware of areas we need to grow in so we can work on ourselves, then work on our relationships. You really can't expect to struggle with a personality flaw in everyday life, and NOT have it surface to some extent in your relationships.

Do any of these toxic habits apply to you?


1. The Relationship Scorecard

What It Is: The “keeping score” phenomenon is when someone you’re dating continues to blame you for past mistakes you made in the relationship. If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call “the relationship scorecard,” where it becomes a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years, and therefore who owes the other one more.

Why It’s Toxic: The relationship scorecard develops over time because one or both people in a relationship use past wrongdoings in order to try and justify current righteousness. 

What You Should Do Instead: Deal with issues individually unless they are legitimately connected. If someone habitually cheats, then that’s obviously a recurring problem. But the fact that she embarrassed you in 2010 and now she got sad and ignored you today in 2013 have nothing to do with each other, so don’t bring it up.

You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If you don’t accept those, then ultimately, you are not accepting them. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.

2. Dropping “Hints” and Other Passive-Aggression

What It Is: Instead of stating a desire or thought overtly, your partner tries to nudge you in the right direction of figuring it out yourself. Instead of saying what’s actually upsetting you, you find small and petty ways to piss your partner off so you’ll then feel justified in complaining to them.

Why It’s Toxic: Because it shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. A person will never feel a need to drop “hints” if they feel like they won’t be judged or criticized for it.

What You Should Do Instead: State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. If they love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.

3. Holding the Relationship Hostage

What It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. For instance, if someone feels like you’ve been cold to them, instead of saying, “I feel like you’re being cold sometimes,” they will say, “I can’t date someone who is cold to me all of the time.

Why It’s Toxic: It’s emotional blackmail and it creates tons of unnecessary drama. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself. Otherwise people will suppress their true thoughts and feelings which leads to an environment of distrust and manipulation.

What You Should Do Instead: It’s fine to get upset at your partner or to not like something about them. That’s called being a normal human being. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them. One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another only without judgment or blackmail will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.

4. Blaming Your Partner For Your Own Emotions

What It Is: Let’s say you’re having a crappy day and your partner isn’t exactly being super sympathetic or supportive at the moment. They’ve been on the phone all day with some people from work. They got distracted when you hugged them. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.

So you lash out them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. You’ve been having a shitty day and they have done nothing about it. Sure, you never asked, but they should just know to make you feel better. They should have gotten off the phone and ditched their plans based on your lousy emotional state.

Why It’s Toxic: Blaming our partners for our emotions is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example of the poor maintenance of personal boundaries. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), then will develop codependent tendencies. Suddenly, they’re not allowed to plan activities without checking with you first. All activities at home — even the mundane such as reading books or watching TV — must be negotiated and compromised. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.

What You Should Do Instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation. As soon as both people in a relationship become culpable for each other’s moods and downswings, it gives them both incentives to hide their true feelings and manipulate one another.

5. Displays of “Loving” Jealousy

What It Is: Getting pissed off when your partner talks, flirts, touches, calls, texts, hangs out, or sneezes in the general vicinity of another person and then you proceed to take that anger out on your partner and attempt to control their behavior. This often leads to insano behaviors such as hacking into your partner’s email account, looking through their text messages while they’re in the shower or even following them around town and showing up unannounced when they’re not expecting you.

Why It’s Toxic: It surprises me that some people describe this as some sort of display of affection. They figure that if their partner wasn’t jealous then that would somehow mean that they weren’t loved by them. This is absolutely clownshit crazy to me. It’s controlling and manipulative. It creates unnecessary drama and fighting. It transmits a message of a lack of trust in the other person. 

What You Should Do Instead: Trust your partner. It’s a radical idea, I know. Some jealousy is natural. But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. Because otherwise you are only going to eventually push that person away.

6. Buying the Solutions to Relationship Problems

What It Is: Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere.

Why It’s Toxic: Not only does it brush the real problem under the rug (where it willalways re-emerge from even worse the next time), but it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship. 

What You Should Do Instead: Actually, you know, deal with the problem. Trust was broken? Talk about what it will take to rebuild it. Someone feels ignored or unappreciated? Talk about ways to restore those feelings of appreciation. Communicate!

The Puppy Turn Up is Real

There's a new addition to the family and it's the cutest pup in the world - - say hello to "Khaleesi" (yes we named our dog after our favorite Game of Thrones character lol). She's a purebred German Shepherd, championship bloodline, with an excess amount of energy.

Y'all... the puppy turn up is VERY real! Last night I had a moment where I was looking around the house wondering if they made a puppy Benadryl! What's even funnier is when she turned down, she looked so freaking adorable I wanted to wake her up again lol. Oh, the irony... but yeah... this is my newest little obsession! I've already posted some video clips on Instagram, so prepare to see a lot of her!

Let's Talk: Period Panties

Back in 2010 I blogged about doing a Panty Drawer Face Lift and once again I'm in a place where I'm questioning my choice in panties. This time, it's all about "period panties."

First, let me start by saying I'm not one of those women that loathes getting their period. It's a beautiful sign each month that I've once again been successful at warding off the child bearing process! Yes... 3 snags in a Z formation. My gripe, however, is choosing the best type of period panty that provides both comfort, peace of mind, and doesn't make me look like a grandmother.

Now, this is something I would give zero fucks about if I lived alone, but for the sake of my boyfriend and actually caring about his opinion I figured there was a way to rock "period panties" while still being somewhat cute... or, well... I'm not even reaching for cute, but let's be real... I don't want to look like a frump when I'm already dealing with possible cramps, mood swings, and bloating.

So, my question is for all ladies that live with their significant other... or maybe they're not that significant but you share your space with someone lol... what is your period panty of choice?

Me? I've been opting for Target's selection of soft, jersey and lace panties that are $5 and come in cute patterns and colors.

Beyonce cut her hair. Why do you care?

I was getting ready to write an eloquent post about period panties lol.. but then low and behold, Beyonce... Ms Queen Bey herself took out her signature weave and flood the internet streets with the debut of her new, short 'do.


It's funny because I feel like so many celebs are known for their constant hair changes, so in theory it shouldn't be that big of a deal... but I haven't been living under a rock, so I get it - - Beyonce is a big deal and we care about what she does to her hair.

So, my thoughts? I think it's cool to see her experimenting with her look. I'm VERY interested in seeing all of the blog posts that will appear tomorrow morning. I'm sure anyone that cares about hair is in the midst of prepping a post on this topic lol. I wonder if Beyonce's new hair will break Twitter tomorrow? lol..

What do you think of her short hair?