Feb 28, 2012

Single + Kids = Damaged Goods?

Growing up I always had 3 deal breakers for a man and potential relationship: Smokers, Kids, and Rappers. Why, you may ask? First I loathe cigarette smoke and could never love someone that's smoking squares all day. Hell no. Kids? I always had a dream of meeting someone, falling in love, and having kids together for the first time. I convinced myself that if I was with a man who previously had kids from another relationship somehow our children would be "less special" since it wasn't the first time, not to mention the potential of "baby mama drama"... and Rappers? Well, I'm definitely the chick that will push my man to reach for his dreams, but I can't do the struggling rapper thing. I will not peddle your mix tape. I don't want to drag my friends to your concerts.. I just don't want to listen to you spit "hot fiyah" on the 1s and 2s.

Last night I came across a video by one of my favorite YouTubers, Taren916, and she was speaking about a forum topic that hit close to home for her: Are single mothers damaged goods? My first reaction to this was "of course not," but it made me think back to how I used to hold onto the idea that men with multiple kids were, in a way, damaged goods to me.

Oftentimes we accept the fact that men can have multiple children by multiple women and this is okay. They're just "being men"... leaving women in the same position being deemed ratchet and a slew of other terms that flex that annoying double standard muscle. In fact, the older I get the more I realize that life really "does happen" and people find themselves in various situations. I don't think anyone ever intends to be a baby mama or baby daddy. Most people don't want to bring children into the world in an unstable environment, nor do people want to tackle parenting alone... but if you find yourself in that situation it doesn't make you less than or damaged goods.

So, my question to the blogosphere: Do you feel single parents (men and women) with multiple children are damaged goods? Would you date someone that had children? Should a divorced person with children be held in a higher standing than someone that was never married, yet has multiple children?

Powered by Blogger.
Designed By Boutique-Website-Design