Feb 28, 2013

Captain Save a Thick Neck: Desmond Bryant

Poor Desmond Bryant needs our help, y'all. After seeing the recent mugshot of the Oakland Raiders Defensive Tackle, it literally made my jaw drop (in the worst way) and feel the urge to send out a plea of help. Seriously - - Desmond went to freaking Harvard so even if he wasn't that smart, he's rubbed elbows with the best, so he knows better. Between the crusty lips, unappetizing tongue and taco meat facial hair, I can't manage to figure out which things needs our help.

Desmond Bryant - Before
Desmond Bryant - After

 Part of me believes he might have popped a molly and sweated out all inklings of common sense... hell, I still don't know what he was arrested for, but this picture speaks a thousand words - - all bad ones. I don't know if I should orchestrate a Fairy Thick Neck Team and swoop in to give this man a shower and a shave (and maybe a breath mint too - - let's be real, shit looks like it's a bit steamy lol), but NFLers out there, hell - - People In GENERAL!! Do better. Period.

You never know where the night will lead and for some the possibility of getting a mugshot isn't a far stretch. In that case, stay camera ready... even in your lowest moment, understand that photographs last forever and the internet makes it go viral.

Mr. Bryant, please do better. Your before picture gives me hope that you can clean up.


A concerned Thick Neck supporter.

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