5 men. 2 hours. No censors.

5 men. 2 hours. No censors.

That was the task at hand for Essence Relationship Editor Demetria Lucas (better known to the blog world as A Belle in Brooklyn) when she sat down with a handful of single men to pick their brains on all things love, sex and relationships.

I was drawn to the December '09 issue because of the blinding rock Marjorie Harvey was flashing on her hand (Steve Harvey's Wife) but soon found the "What Men Think" article nestled on page 97. It's always enlightening and entertaining to see what men think, and though conversations can sometimes be funny, sometimes frustrating, Lucas tackled the job with ease. Check out the highlights below...


On the large number of single, Black women:

Essence: I've heard - and I'm sure you have too - lots of ladies blaming their single status on the lack of available men. If there are so many great men, why are so many Black women single?

Norman Lee: A lot of Black women are not trying to compromise. They have an entitled attitude like, I deserve this. I deserve that. No, you don't!


On what they're looking for in a wife and marriage:

Essence: Do Black men have the great options Black women think they do when it comes to finding a quality wife? I can't help but notice none of you are married.

Rich Williams: The reason the divorce rate is so high is people don't get married for the right reasons. They think marriage is just an extended, permanent dating period and it's not. It's an emotional and a business partnership. Our love doesn't pay the mortgage.


On what it takes to put a ring on it:

Essence: Say you have a woman who does all the right things. What will it take for you to put a ring on it?

Norman Lee: I need a woman who is aggressive. She has to set some rules and keep me in line. If I'm acting out, tell me, "Look, that's not happening here." I don't want a woman I can walk over.

On the importance of good sex:

Essence: How important is good sex?

Wes Mapes: If the sex game is not on point, we will not go to the next level. Sorry.

Rich Williams: At 30 you should know how to please somebody whether you're a man or a woman.

Norman Lee: Yeah, you're playing varsity now. This ain't JV.


On what they think good sex is:

Essence: What is good sex? Do men want women to swing from the chandeliers?

Brian Miller: I need the woman to be nasty. Who wants a prude in the bedroom? Don't bring gadgets or be a dominatrix with the whips, but be open to anything else.



For more on this interview pick up the December issue of Essence Magazine.

Choosing and Getting Chose 101: Tip #1

After a festive night of wine, cheese and convo with my Chi-Town partner in all things fabulous (Kamilah) - - we were approached by a UIC professor that was definitely trying to get chose. My friend, like the sweetheart she is, didn't give a fake number because like her, I've come to realize all men (white and black) will call your # right in front on you...which definitely reduces the chances of you being able to play them...lol...The conversation proceeded like this:


UIC Professor: Can I have your number?
Friend: Sure (gives number)

UIC Professor: (starts dialing) Something is wrong with your phone...it's not going through.

Friend: Are you sure? I'm so embarrassed! I really pay my bills. Here, give me your number and let me give you a call.

UIC Professor: (gives number)

Friend: (dials number) Wait, something is wrong with your phone. I'm getting a message: The caller is not accepting calls at this time.

UIC Professor: (scratches head) Ummm...maybe I didn't pay my bill.

I was falling out laughing at this point! It was straight hilarity!



Choosing and Getting Chose 101: Tip #1

PAY YOUR BILLS...ESPECIALLY YOUR CELL PHONE BILL BECAUSE GETTING AT SOMEONE IS A LOT EASIER WHEN YOUR PHONE IS ACTUALLY TURNED ON :)

Bad boys always win...

There's something about his messy, disheveled borderline gothic rocker addict look that hits the spot for me. His sexiness seeps out of my TV screen every Monday night on MTV's "The Hills" and I've definitely been left wanting more. I did a little research to find out what else there was to this bad boy (besides being MTV eye candy) and here's the scoop:






- about 25 yo
- former hairstylist
-models (appeared in Vogue Italia earlier this year)


Yeah, not much...lol...but here are some pics...because really, I would be fine with him never speaking a word! lol...

Sexy is in the eye of the beholder?

Are you only physically attracted to someone because they have something you don't?

This is the question that was posed in an article I read yesterday

(http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/news)

and it got me to start thinking...do I find myself attracted to guys simply because they have something that is foreign to me? Unlike some, I don't go for guys with nice legs because I have no clue what it's like to have them...nor do I like a guy with a nice smile because it's completely unknown to me! I find myself attracted to people that share qualities which I myself possess and have, over time, placed a high value on. I was curious as to what others thought - male and female.

I knew he was old when...

*Originally posted 5/14/08 on my myspace blog*

I knew he was old when:

- He pulled, ever so gently, out of his pocket a *brace yourself* DISC MAN! Yes, a bonafied disc man, portable cd player...whatever you want to call it...he pulled it out of his pocket and actually pressed pause! Lord...I didn't know that people still used these things...but I guess so. Aren't iPods and MP3 players pretty affordable nowadays?

- I made a comment about Miami Vice to which he made a comment about Ricardo Tubbs. *blank stare* Who is that?? Apparently we were discussing 2 completely different eras in time. I was referencing the talented Colin Farel and Jamie Foxx. lol...he was talking about the 80s show with Don Johnson. :( lol...

- He used the words "free spirit" and "groovy" in a sentence and it wasn't a joke.

- We had this conversation:

ME: How old are you?

HIM: Late 30s

ME: What does that mean?

HIM: 38, is that a problem? Do I look like I'm 38?

ME: I don't know what 28 looks like, let alone 38.

--end of convo--