This child is exasperated by life and I love it

As a child I was always encouraged to speak my mind and was actually rewarded for having an opinion. I provided endless hours (and years) of entertainment for my parents and still put a smile on their faces to this day.

I have zero filter and have been known to say quite a few things that make them chuckle. I'm sure it's made it easier being my parent over the years lol...

Seeing the video of this adorable and outspoken boy has put the biggest smile on my face! What a cool kid. I only hope that my future kids are full of this much spunk, personality, and opinions!

Not to mention he actually uses the word "exasperated" correctly in a sentence. Y'all... I know adults who can't use it correctly lol. This kid is my hero.

Single + Kids = Damaged Goods?

Growing up I always had 3 deal breakers for a man and potential relationship: Smokers, Kids, and Rappers. Why, you may ask? First I loathe cigarette smoke and could never love someone that's smoking squares all day. Hell no. Kids? I always had a dream of meeting someone, falling in love, and having kids together for the first time. I convinced myself that if I was with a man who previously had kids from another relationship somehow our children would be "less special" since it wasn't the first time, not to mention the potential of "baby mama drama"... and Rappers? Well, I'm definitely the chick that will push my man to reach for his dreams, but I can't do the struggling rapper thing. I will not peddle your mix tape. I don't want to drag my friends to your concerts.. I just don't want to listen to you spit "hot fiyah" on the 1s and 2s.

Last night I came across a video by one of my favorite YouTubers, Taren916, and she was speaking about a forum topic that hit close to home for her: Are single mothers damaged goods? My first reaction to this was "of course not," but it made me think back to how I used to hold onto the idea that men with multiple kids were, in a way, damaged goods to me.

Oftentimes we accept the fact that men can have multiple children by multiple women and this is okay. They're just "being men"... leaving women in the same position being deemed ratchet and a slew of other terms that flex that annoying double standard muscle. In fact, the older I get the more I realize that life really "does happen" and people find themselves in various situations. I don't think anyone ever intends to be a baby mama or baby daddy. Most people don't want to bring children into the world in an unstable environment, nor do people want to tackle parenting alone... but if you find yourself in that situation it doesn't make you less than or damaged goods.

So, my question to the blogosphere: Do you feel single parents (men and women) with multiple children are damaged goods? Would you date someone that had children? Should a divorced person with children be held in a higher standing than someone that was never married, yet has multiple children?

No Nicknames Allowed

On the Steve Harvey radio show this morning a listener sent in a letter regarding her 18yo daughter that was dating/sleeping with guys of which she only knew their nicknames. To give you some indication of how bad this had gotten, She only knew her own child's father as "Tip". When asked by her mother what his real name was she said she didn't know. Now, I can understand a 1 night stand and forgetting that person's name, but carrying on some sort of sexual relationship with someone and not knowing their government name? That's an issue.

Steve Harvey broke it down for the mother and I thought he hit the nail on the head. First off, he told her that she was parenting in a backwards manner. The real issue is that her 18yo daughter already has a child and NOW she feels the need to start having some heart to hearts with her? Her daughter is grown now and her mentality is warped. She equates male attention with love therefore she doesn't need to know their first name because her main goal is attention. Not only does she need positive male influences in her life STAT, but a therapist to assist in getting her mind right would be essential.

As women we know that any man will give you attention; attention is not something that's hard to come by. Bums give you attention on the street when you walk by. The guys that bang their drum sticks on buckets on State St. will start singing to you when you cross their line of vision. Hell, the door guys in my bldg make me feel special everyday. lol... Male attention in its most basic form is nothing special.

This situation made me think back to when I was in high school and my Aunt that helped raise me would always spazz out if guys called the house. "What's his name? Who are his parents?" I was always bombarded with questions and at the time I didn't understand it. All teenagers want to talk on the phone with boys. I remember feeling so embarrassed that guys would call the house and she'd grill them... but I now understand that her efforts were not in vain. She wanted me to set certain standards for myself and those are standards that I still practice to this day. I'm very adamant that I know someone's real name -- first and last. I don't save people in my phone under "Pookie", "Ty Ty" or any other hood moniker. I save birthdays and like to actually use the many other contact options I have in my blackberry. Company? Check. Position? Check.

I have never been one to call a grown ass man by a nickname. I always probe a person for their real name, you know... what's on your birth certificate. It's a huge turn off to see a man exist in the realm of nickname land. Womp womp. You don't pass go. Don't collect $200.

So, my question to everyone: How many guys have you been involved with and never known their real name? Do you save people in your phone by first/last name? Maybe I'm just a little OCD when it comes to this stuff...

What's a Pay Phone?

*Originally posted on 8/28/08 on my myspace blog*

Whatever happended to Pay Phones?
I know that we've all used it at one time or another...but like, where have they gone? It wasn't long ago when people scraped for change to make that oh so necessary phone call...or even return a page! Remember pagers! "Did someone call (your name here) from this number?" lol...but that's another topic. Back to pay phones. Listening to a conversation going on between co-workers, they talked about pay phones and how they are non-existant anymore...and if you do find one that isn't occupied by some sketchy person, you have to struggle to remember phone numbers! Which brings me to the fact that people don't memorize anything anymore. I know a few numbers by heart...but other than those lucky few, I'm totally dependent ..ing and clicking on whoever's name is in my phone! When people lose their cell phones it's like their world falls apart! Another topic they discussed was sucessfully raising kids without having a cell phone! Today it's not uncommon to find kids as young as 8 carrying around cell phones! However, if you're a parent w/out a cell phone some question your ability to effectively raise, or keep tabs on your kids! I grew up in a time when most people didn't have cell phones...and a few lucky ones had car phones! Remember the car phones that had those tangly cords and cost like a million dollars to make a call? lol...I don't think that you need to have a cell phone to raise children. I think that the culture of today is one of instant gratification and sometimes it's nice to actually turn off your phone, tv, email...just get away from it all and maybe reading a book or going for a walk is too granola for you...but catching up on sleep or pampering yourself with a bubble bath is a nice treat!