Coffee Woes - Update

So, I found myself walking past Starbucks again and figured that I needed to get over my "stage fright" with ordering a normal coffee. The line was really short so I knew this was my chance to get this coffee situation handled.

Me: Hi, can I get the pairing special that you have? The latte and artisan sandwich.

Starbucks: Sure. What kind of latte would you like?

Me: (hesitant) Umm, well what can I get? (my way of saying what the fuck is a latte? lol...)

Starbucks: (slightly annoyed) Well, you can any latte or coffee. A latte is like coffee.

Me: (seeing that he doesn't get that I don't know what a latte is) Can I add something to it, like caramel or vanilla?

Starbucks: Yes

Me: Okay, well give me a tall caramel latte.

So, it wasn't that big of a deal for me to order a caramel "latte" and just freak it out with some sugar... but I still have no clue what a latte is. One of my co-workers that used to work at a coffee shop tried explaining it to me (coffee with milk, I believe... or coffee with milk and some expresso... I don't know.) Should it be this complicated to order a freaking drink? Like, I really need to take a coffee for dummies course and get my life together. Starbucks is a little out of control with their drinks. While I was waiting this guy walked in and ordered a Tall Vanilla Redeye with Soy! lol... Redeye? What's that? I bet it has a lot of sugar or caffeine in it. Anyways, for now I like Starbucks again. Could it be possible that I'm frenemies with them? Who knows...

Coffee Woes

Tall White Mocha extra Whip? Check.
Tall Blended Strawberry Lemonade? Check.
Regular coffee?? Umm... I'm a little lost.

I don't know why I feel so much anxiety about going to Starbucks and ordering a normal cup of coffee. Maybe it's the long lines, employees eager for you to know what you want (like going to McDonalds and staring at the menu as if it's actually changed....) or the seasoned Starbucks pros that walk in there and bark their complex orders out with ease (5 shot venti, 2/5th decaf, ristretto shot, 1pump Vanilla, 1pump Hazelnut, breve,1 sugar in the raw, with whip, carmel drizzle on top, free poured, 4 pump mocha... yes, absolutely ridiculous).

For the last few weeks I've been trying to build up the chutzpah to walk into Starbucks and just order a plain coffee (mainly because of their daily special of a "tall blend" and Artisan Sandwich for $3.95) but I find myself unsure of what exactly a "tall blend" is and when I walk into the store my nerves kick in and I feel a little stupid asking them about something so basic.

Anyways, I've decided to stick to Dunkin Donuts for regular coffee because in addition to being less intimidating and having better lids, they use real sizes like small, medium and large and a medium coffee cost me $1.50! I was shocked to hand over such a small amount of cash today! You mean to tell me that coffee isn't supposed to cost upwards of $5 dollars? Huh? What? What rock have I been living under steadily shelling out top dollar to Starbucks... and for what? A little extra pomp and circumstance when they yell out my order and hand me my drink? The "ambience" of which the Starbucks in my building is missing tons of... I'll have Starbucks be my go-to place for sweet, candy like drinks and stick to what "America Runs On" for my normal coffee.