Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

Another day and another horror story. "Joe" was replaced with "famo" and scarface impressions with talks of prison stints and snitches. The teens were long gone and in their place grown men and their rants about how the Chicago Police were"stupid all the way through." You could sense their bitterness and resentment towards CTA employees as they bitched and moaned about how CTA employees felt like they were "above them" because they had a "gig with the CTA." I started to feel like the blue line was the business office for thugs and bums. The cars their personal boardrooms to conduct meetings. I ditched my usual mo of listening to what they were discussing because honestly, some information you just don't want to be privy to. I didn't even make eye contact for fear that it would draw unwanted attention to me. I noticed that was getting a death stare by thug #3 who had strategically distanced himself a few rows behind thugs #1 and #2 as they discussed their "business". As I made the trip home, I had never wanted to be off of a train so bad. The boisterous and rude thug #2 decided to make his rounds around the car asking for money in between his rants on politics, the war, and how selfish everyone was. I was disgusted when he approached a Spanish speaking woman and asked "how do you say suck my balls in Spanish?" It felt like I was in a bad movie... and I wasn't getting paid to be an extra. I wanted out immediately. At that moment I pitied everyone on the train. We were all stuck there and doomed to endure the harassment until we reached our respective stops. I glanced up at a sign stating that we should report any strange activity. I wish I could pick up my phone and call the 800 # and tell them scum was on the train. Why didn't the CTA have a # you could send a text to. Sometimes you're in a situation and unable to pick up the phone and call. My stop couldn't have come any sooner! It felt like it had taken forever... I jumped off the train and felt like I was sprinting home. I just wanted to be locked up in my house, safe and far away from the randoms of the blueline.

Adventures on the CTA: Blue Line edition

I was sitting on the train eager to get home when I saw these 2 random teens get on. From their demeanor I could tell that they were worthless, but hoping they'd keep the hood antics to a minimum. Ummm, not so much.

After proclaiming that everyone on the train was going to hell with him, this overgrown teen with a picked out perm proceeded to say that he could "be an actor". He flexed his acting chops by subjecting everyone to his montage of Scarface impressions while raggedy ass teen #2 notified everyone that they had 11 more stops to go. I could barely manage to shoot him a side eye (o-O) before I was berated with more "joe" and "on my mama" quotes than I want to remember. I don't know where that stuff started but I wish it would go away. Things went from bad to worse when he began doing footwork and then telling some story about how he was going to "bust on dude" (insert blank stare here). Not surprisingly, things came to end as the Kedzie-Homan stop approached and they bid everyone adieu.

First off, the Kedzie-Homan stop really is responsible for most of the West Side trash that rides the blue line. Period. But more importantly, I feel that the youth of today are lost... primarily teenage, black men in Chicago. I feel like they're doomed if parents don't step in and stage an intervention. It's embarrassing to see them act a plum fool on the train and have people think that they represent black youths today. It's even sadder that the majority of kids seem to act like this and think there is nothing wrong. I wish that black boys 15yo-19yo could go to a finishing school and get exposed to some class and refinement. Furthermore, I think black men need to be raising these boys. Women can't raise a man like a man can. These boys are running around with no sense and it's tragic. *sigh*

Times like these I wish the Metra was an option.

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

Fat People Squeezing into the Seat Next to You:

Anyone that uses the CTA knows the horror of having an empty seat next to you and seeing someone larger than life (literally) approach it. Yesterday on my way to work I was thrilled when a seat opened up and I was able to relax. The lady next to me was quite petite so I enjoyed a comfortable ride... that was until her stop came up and I was faced with having a really fat chick sit next to me. Now, I'm not one to get aggravated over fat people because I know that THEY know that they're fat. However, as she wiggled and squeezed her plump ass into the seat next to me I couldn't help rolling my eyes because I was SMOOSHED!!! I mean, seriously! I know she wanted to sit down too but what made her think she could fit in that seat. So annoying... On top of that she insisted on texting on her old school flip phone the entire trip which required her to hit a key a trillion times to send a simple message. Throw into the mix that she was one of the few that hadn't figured out how to silence her key tone and I was ready to throat chop her.

Creepy, Old Guys:

Yesterday as I was waiting on the blueline platform to head home I was completely freaked out by this grown ass man that approached me. Clearly trying to avoid any unnecessary conversation, I had my headphones in and was blasting some Lady Gaga. Out of the corner of my eye I could see this guy walking towards me but was hoping he wouldn't say anything. The next thing I know he's asking me if I'm on facebook. I wish I could've sent a twitpic of my puzzled face. I replied "yes" ( For some reason I couldn't think to say "fuck off" quick enough) when he responded by saying that he knew he had recognized be from there before walking away.

Ummm.... *insert blank stare here* That was the oddest moment I've experienced in a while and it really made me want to remove some of the 1000+ pics I have online (as well as untag myself in a few). I guess living in Chicago you're bound to see people that you recognize from facebook but very rarely do you approach them. On top of that, grown men shouldn't just be walking up on you talking about how they've seen you online. I'm not a celeb.... you're creeping me out so please keep it moving. I think if he would've followed up his statement with something relevant I would've felt a bit better but nope... he was just being creepy. So, my advice to everyone (though it goes w/o needing to really be said) be careful about the amount of information you have readily available to people online... Keep your profiles private... and just be aware of anything that seems to be weird.

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

I've been hearing for a while now that I needed to make the switch from the standard CTA fare card to the Chicago Card Plus. It took some time (over a year) but I finally made the change and let me just say that it's made a world of difference.

No longer do I have to fumble around with my fare card, hoping I insert it correctly and don't hold up the line. With a simple tap I'm able to enjoy all of the perks of having the CTA chauffeur me around the city. Another highlight is having my 30 day pass automatically reloaded every month!! I'm looking forward to not hustling to get a pass every week. Geez, I really wish I would have done this sooner. I'd urge everyone to definitely get the Chicago Card Plus if you haven't done so already. It's an amazing feature that the CTA offers.

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

I'm used to the train having delays and sometimes sitting at a stop for a few minutes, but Friday night it was outrageous. I could tell something was up when my blue train headed towards Forest Park was sitting at the UIC/Halsted stop for what seemed like forever. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a man walking around inspecting each car from the platform. He was moving fairly quickly but I thought I saw a gun on his hip. Seeing as how I'm not in Arizona where it's legal to carry a firearm I was hoping he was a cop...and not some sketchtastic man on a mission. The next thing I know I saw another cop...then another...and yet another... 20 mins and 20 cops later, my boyfriend and I were still sitting on the train and waiting as the police conducted an "investigation" on what the CTA operator described as an "urban crime" lol. Umm... What the hell is an urban crime? Well, the cops proceeded to sweep each car of the train and I sat there and watched as 2 people, a man and a woman, were pulled out. I'm assuming that they had drugs or something on them because they were being searched and the cops were using their flashlights to see if anything had been dropped underneath the train. It was so random to have that happen while I was on the blue line, but I'm glad my bf was there with me... and that it was at the UIC/Halsted stop so I could use my cellphone. Way too much action for a Friday night.

On a different note, I drove down 71st st. on my way to Midway airport last night and can I just say that the overwhelming amount of little dope boys on the corners was astonishing! Seriously, anyone that braves 71st st west of the Dan Ryan needs a freaking medal (or a gun) because it wasn't anything nice. It's shocking to see how lost some of our youth are... or did they never even have a chance *sigh*.

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition (mini rant)

Newsflash Blue Line riders: Chips do not count as a breakfast food!!

This morning I was tormented as the lady behind me devoured her sour cream and cheddar chips... the constant rustling of her bag making its way thru my headphones, making me contemplate ways to choke her out. On top of that she licked her fingers like it was the last supper and proceeded to touch everything in sight. *gag* Has she not heard of H1n1?? She's for sure gonna catch the monster. This is like the umpteenth time I've seen people eating chips for breakfast (the last time was flaming hots) and I'm just like lord Jesus, take the wheel!!!

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

Riding to work this morning I was ecstatic to get a window seat to myself. It's always good times when you're able to get yourself situated for the ride downtown having arm & leg room along with a bit of personal space. I was excited to read my RedEye and text without bumping elbows with the person next to me or having my thigh stuck to theirs..... that was until the dreaded Kedzie-Homan stop. This stop on the blue line is the primary source of my angst (with Pulaski coming in a close 2nd). The people that appear at these two stops are hard to describe....like the lower crust of society... the forgotten folks. No offense to anyone that uses this stop and ISN'T a ghetto ass teen, smelly bum, or overall sketchtastic person... but from my research I've determined that I don't fucks with Kedzie-Homan or Pulaski.

Today, we pulled up to the stop and I was so engrossed in reading and listening to my iPod that I didn't have time to react (i.e. put something on the empty seat next to me) when before I knew it a bum had plopped his smelly ass down next to me. The smell of cheap cologne and sadness crept into my nostrils. It was hard to disguise my shit face. I was like, damn... I have SO many more stops to go and I KNOW he's not getting off until Jackson (for some reason everyone that gets on a Kedzie-Homan/Pulaski end up getting off at Jackson lol). Anyways, the entire ride my focus was thrown off because I was hyper aware of his every move. I felt his eyes peering at me and wanted to just get up and switch seats. I knew that would've came off as being a bit snobbish but you know, I was already thinking the thoughts so was it really that much worse to act on them. Oh yeah, I also pulled the "scared white woman" move and moved my purse to the other side of my body... clutching it and playing out different scenarios in my mind. If he grabbed my purse would I throat chop him? Head butt him? Damn, he'd have my cell phone. Did I have copies of my credit cards at home? lol... (Yes, I was really thinking about this stuff lol)

By the time we passed Clinton I was determined that I could no longer handle the smell. I promised myself that I'd get up at Jackson and just stand up if he hadn't yet gotten off... but guess what? Like clock work Jackson came up and with that the bum got up and headed off into the abyss of the Red Line!!! I was thrilled that he left. I smiled a huge smile, opened my RedEye back up and enjoyed the last few stops before I got to work!!!

So, I'm wondering if I'm a CTA snob? Like, can you be a snob and take public transportation? I feel like to be a real city snob you need to live downtown and cab it. Is it bad that I despise the Chicago CTA bums... they make my skin crawl and sketch me out.

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

For the most part my CTA rides have been fairly uneventful. I found myself actually yearning for the days of riding the #3 and #4 because they produced weekly blog fodder (or because it meant that I lived in the fabulous South Loop lol). The blue line seems to be full of professionals looking to escape the chaos of their jobs in the city and head home to their lives in the suburbs. However, on our way to the 'burbs we must first pass thru the West Side.

During my time on the blue line, I've discovered that the Kedzie-Homan and Pulaski stops are a hot mess. Lord, the folks that get on/off at those 2 stops cease to amaze me! They're usually loud, ghetto, crack-headish in appearance or just at a level 10 of sketchtasticness. The other day while I was trapped on the train between a group of 3 teenagers (teenagers annoy me to no end) I realized that I don't "love the kids". I hate the kids actually. I think the youth of today are tragic and a huge let down. As I was forced to endure meaningless conversations, the smell of their chicken and catfish specials, and unsightly appearance, I started taking bets on which stop they'd get off at. I was doubling down on Kedzie-Homan. Everything about them reeked of Kedzie-Homan. Have you ever felt like you were seriously going to die if you have to stay in a situation for 1 more minute? I have a flare for the drama, but really - - I was running off of 3 hours of sleep, entirely too much coffee and a day that had already been chopped full of small annoyances. Now, as I rode home I was on the verge of gouging my eyes out at the thought of having to spend another second sandwiched between this group of future let downs. As the Kedzie-Homan stop approached I saw the kids grabbing their bags and heading for the door. I smiled to myself knowing that I was right.

*Quick sidebar - - I noticed that sometimes as the cta #91 bus approaches the stop for the blue line on Austin, people will hop off, grab a stack of Red Eyes, and hop back on - - pulling off with my only source of entertainment as I make my way into the city. I'd really appreciate it if you'd turn your stingy ways down a few levels. It'd be nice to read a Red Eye at least 2-3 times a week! I'm just saying.....

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line "Hi Miss Lady" Edition

Oh, the joys of the CTA! In addition to the occasional smell of piss, rambling crackheads, wild children and erratic drivers you sometimes get the guy that "insists on trying to get at you even though you're wearing an ipod, sunglasses, reading something and giving off the body language that says kick mf'ing rocks"... That's what I experienced this morning.

I noticed this random guy take the seat in front of me and sit sideways, knowing good and well he was about to attempt a conversation. He started talking to me and I couldn't make out what he was saying due to wearing my ipod. I continued to ignore him. The next thing I know I was hit with multiple 8 counts of spirit fingers and I had no choice but to look up.

Random Guy: Hi, how are you?

Me: I'm fine. (put earphones back in)

Random Guy: I was actually trying to talk to you

Me: (take earphones out) I usually like to listen to music while I'm on my way to work (put earphones back in)

Random Guy: So, you're headed to work?

Me: (take earphones out) Yes

Random Guy: What's your name?

Me: Ishea

Random Guy: So, let me give you my information

Me: No thank you. I have a boyfriend.

Random Guy: We can't be friends?

Me: I'm not actively seeking out any new friends

Random Guy: I sought YOU out.

Me: (blank stare followed by a laugh) No thank you.

Random Guy: Why don't you take off your sunglasses. I want to see your eyes.

Me: Ummm... no, I'm good. (put earphones back in)

At this point I wanted to go left on this dude but was slightly nervous he may yank my shades off lol. What's more aggravating is that he proceeded to remain seated inches from my face, pull out his discover card (yes, he was trying to stunt on me lol - - FAIL) and whip out his cell phone like he was making shit happen. *insert eyeroll here* Body language speaks volumes and it would be nice if every once in a while men got a freaking clue and left you the hell alone. I must also add that this is the 2nd time I've been hit with the 8 count of spirit fingers while riding the blue line. Just a sidebar for men everywhere - - women have NO issues making eye contact and shooting a smile when they're interested. If I'm avoiding the sight of you like the pubonic plague then take a hint and keep it moving - - please!!!

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

I've been MIA from the blog world lately due to moving and my lack of internet access at home. I've said bye to the glitz and glam of the South Loop and find myself back in my old stomping ground. Along with my move has come the joy of taking the train instead of the bus. I was slightly skeptical as to whether the blue line would be able to provide me with material like the Michigan Ave buses did....but after a few rides my nerves were put to rest and I was blessed with priceless material to report.

1. The blue line seems to be in a constant state of smelling like piss. I guess bums pay their toll and ride up and down all day/night long but pissing on the cars and at the stops is not the business. I have to say that the bus never smelled as bad as the train. Bus 1 Train 0.

2. On the bus I never experienced many bums asking for change. The blue line has taken begging to a whole new level. While on my way home I noticed a guy making his way from car to car giving a PSA of sorts - - "Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I'm very hungry and haven't eaten in 2 days. Does anyone have change? Anyone? Anyone? Nickels, Dimes... pennies? Anyone?" Now, being hungry isn't a good feeling but seriously dude, you're going to need to up your begging skills. Aim higher... why not ask for dollars and quarters! lol...

3. Hood conversations are definitely different on the train. I'm used to ghetto ass girls, but the blue line has grown ass men getting crunk on their cells. Here's a snippet of a conversation I heard yesterday:

"Nigga all my nieces and nephews...it ain't nothin fo me to be out South. Nigga I know what the fuck she doing...I can't get in the middle of that. If I told yo mothafuckin ass once, I told yo mothafuckin ass twice. Nigga you need to stay there and ignore her petty ass shit. Stay there and take care of yo kids. You know what our daddy said, if you man enough to make em then be man enough to take care of em. Bruh man, if you ain't happy then move the fuck on. You know I had the best woman in my life and I walked away from her and my 15 kids...the worst thing I ever did."

I felt like a damn court stenographer trying to capture every word this dude was saying. He was out of control and out of order - - definitely set our people back a few years with his ignorant ass conversation.

4. I've noticed way too many black men with huge neck tats (like "FACE MOB") and wearing their do-rags on the train. Damn, can't you get your wave game up to par at home?

5. I've seen signs that say "No shoes, no shirt, no service" but I guess this doesn't apply to the blue line. I witnessed this Matthew McConaughey wanna-be going for the LA Surfer dude look and ditching his shirt. I will say that his body was on point so he didn't hurt my sight...but still, put some clothes on.

Some pros of the train:

- less children and more professionals
- not as crowded
- the a/c helps to keep my hair from looking like a hot sweated out mess


Sidebar: I should have internet as of next week so I'll be back to posting regularly