Jun 27, 2013

So, It's my birthday...

It's midnight in Seattle and I'm officially 29. Over the years I've learned that I have no idea what the year has in store for me... and that can more often than not bug out the obsessive planner that lives within my soul... but hindsight being 20/20 I know that for every high and low, struggle and victory I've had come my way, I've grown and been left in a better place.

So, what does it even mean to be 29? Well, besides having 30 knocking on my door, I have no clue. I used to think that age correlated to maturity and where you should be in life... but at 29 I've already been divorced and moved more times than I'd like to admit , so other than being a gypsy who knows! I don't feel pressure right now to get married. I don't feel pressure to pop out a kid. The only pressure I do feel is the nagging need to "find my happy" and find it fast. Of course I know that life is a journey, so I try to embrace the road to wherever I'm going, but it has its overwhelming moments.

The last few birthdays have been interesting... a crap shoot of sorts... some great ,some shitty. I'm not exactly sure where today will fall on the scale, but in this moment I'm excited to get older, learn more, feel more comfortable in my skin, and further develop into the person I'm meant to me. I still have flaws and am learning to improve... and love myself more in the process. Turn down some of my emo while turning up some of my inner strength. I've been through things I'll never share... yes, the open book motor mouth does have some limits... but life really is what you make it. I hope to be active and present in my life this year. Be accountable for the energy I bring to a situation and know that I do have a say in whatever I'm a part of.

So, anyways... all of this is more so me rambling for my own benefit and to reflect in another year lol. 29 here I am... let's do this.

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