Feb 28, 2012

Single + Kids = Damaged Goods?

Growing up I always had 3 deal breakers for a man and potential relationship: Smokers, Kids, and Rappers. Why, you may ask? First I loathe cigarette smoke and could never love someone that's smoking squares all day. Hell no. Kids? I always had a dream of meeting someone, falling in love, and having kids together for the first time. I convinced myself that if I was with a man who previously had kids from another relationship somehow our children would be "less special" since it wasn't the first time, not to mention the potential of "baby mama drama"... and Rappers? Well, I'm definitely the chick that will push my man to reach for his dreams, but I can't do the struggling rapper thing. I will not peddle your mix tape. I don't want to drag my friends to your concerts.. I just don't want to listen to you spit "hot fiyah" on the 1s and 2s.

Last night I came across a video by one of my favorite YouTubers, Taren916, and she was speaking about a forum topic that hit close to home for her: Are single mothers damaged goods? My first reaction to this was "of course not," but it made me think back to how I used to hold onto the idea that men with multiple kids were, in a way, damaged goods to me.

Oftentimes we accept the fact that men can have multiple children by multiple women and this is okay. They're just "being men"... leaving women in the same position being deemed ratchet and a slew of other terms that flex that annoying double standard muscle. In fact, the older I get the more I realize that life really "does happen" and people find themselves in various situations. I don't think anyone ever intends to be a baby mama or baby daddy. Most people don't want to bring children into the world in an unstable environment, nor do people want to tackle parenting alone... but if you find yourself in that situation it doesn't make you less than or damaged goods.

So, my question to the blogosphere: Do you feel single parents (men and women) with multiple children are damaged goods? Would you date someone that had children? Should a divorced person with children be held in a higher standing than someone that was never married, yet has multiple children?

Feb 23, 2012

Natural Hair: Grecian Goddess Bun

I don't know if it's the term "protective styling" or the concept of wearing my hair tucked away... but it evokes images of boring twists/braids and makes my life force shed a few tears. Still, I know if nice to give my hair a break from the daily styling every once in a while and tuck my ends away.

While browsing YouTube I came across a great video on how to spice up "protective styling" with a Grecian Goddess Bun!! Many thanks to vlogger Fusion of Cultures for her great video. I can't wait to give this style a try.

Feb 21, 2012

What's your number?

Numbers, numbers, numbers... they're so much fun when you're fantasizing about winning the lottery or how many pairs of shoes you'd like to own - - but when someone asks you the number of people you've slept with, it can stop you in your tracks.

I don't know if it's due to being caught off guard, embarrassment, or a mixture of both... but whenever I've been asked my number of sexual partners it makes me feel a certain way.

I'm not a liar by nature so my first inclination is to tell the truth, but depending on who I'm speaking with I can definitely hesitate and rethink answering this question altogether. If your number is higher than theirs it can make for an awkward situation. If your number is too low then a man will usually assume you're full of shit and multiply that by 3. As a woman that's a few years shy of 30 (and it sounds crazy as hell to actually see that being typed in front of my eyes lol), I realize that by the age of 30 most people have lived a lot of life, ran through some folks, had their fair share of relationships, one night "one and dones," and potentially racked up a nice list of names. Still, I try to reserve judgment because while sexual health and conversations are important, I don't think a person can be reduced to a single number of people they've been intimate with. On top of that, I just don't believe anyone truly wants to know the answer to this question when being asked.

So, when it comes to a new person in your life do you think it's better to be honest and throw your real number out there or keep that under wraps?

Feb 10, 2012

What happens in Vegas....

In less than 24 hours I will be soaking up the desert sun in Vegas for another fun-filled weekend with #TeamDoubleTrouble. I don't have plans of getting too ratchet (by my standards lol), but I will definitely partake in a few shenanigans.

On another note, my ipod that had been broken for nearly a year magically decided to start working again!!! I considered this a blessing from the technology gods and backed it up. So freaking thrilled to have access to all of my old tunes. Definitely a happy camper.

What are your weekend plans?

Feb 9, 2012

That's in the past...

Recently I was speaking with a friend who in short said he feared making mistakes in life. It caused me to wonder how someone could get through life without making any mistakes... I mean, weren't mistakes truly life experiences all leading us down a path of growing into the person we currently are today?

Overall the concept of one's past is an interesting thing. It can be riddled with a slew of mistakes, successes, shortcomings, bad decisions, regrets, highs, and lows... but as it pertains to a new relationship how much of the past is truly in the past.

The older I get the more I realize that being judgmental is for the birds and "mistakes" are made every day. I don't believe that poor choices define a person, nor are you the sum total of a few choices you've made. There is no time like the present and in reality you can spin anything to be bad or good - - it's all about your outlook My mom has told me many times that I missed my calling as a lawyer. My tarot lady (yes, I have one of those lol) told me that my tongues is like a double edged sword and very powerful. I'd have to agree with both of them... however, I think I choose to view life from an open-minded standpoint, well aware that "shit happens" and you have to keep it moving. I'm never short of an opinion, but I try to refrain from judging based on someone's past.

I value the person standing in front of me today. If you're exuding an energy that I love and presenting to me a person that is worthy of friendship, trust, love, and time why withhold mutual feelings based on your past? I mean, isn't your past responsible for shaping you into the person that I enjoy so much? In my eyes it is.

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm very well aware of the fact some pills are harder to swallow than others, but when you are in a new (or old) relationship how much of your past do you choose to share? And how much of someones past can be shared with you without forming judgments?

Feb 8, 2012

And that's how you make panties fall off...

Have you ever listened to Marvin Gaye? Not just listened to him... but really listened to Marvin Gaye with someone that's a musical connoisseur of Marvin Gaye? Well, let me tell you... be prepared when you do. Have some wine, candles and a fresh pair of panties because I can guarantee the ones you're wearing will be soaked! Ahh, Marvin Gaye. That man was amazing.

I recently had the chance to listen to a few songs and it dawned on me that while Al Green was singing his heart out about emotions, Marvin Gaye was swooning women and smooth talking panties into a legit ninja vanish! The man had game. I'm not the most soulful person anyone knows (by far), but listening to older music I was able to fall into a groove and appreciate the quality that is really lost nowadays.

So, in good fun who is your favorite: Marvin Gaye or Al Green?

...the man in action...

Feb 7, 2012

I'm on call... and I'm not a doctor

I'm on call this week for work... but there's a catch - - I'm not a fucking doctor!! Yes, that's right. Yours truly is on call for the wonderful world of advertising, so if some digital ads start glitching out? I'll be to the rescue. Who cares about kids being rushed into the ER. I'm on call for something WAY more important - - digital campaigns. <end rant> lol...

On another note I'm being forced to carry around this hideous ancient as fuck blackberry and all I can wonder if how I kept that contraption for 3.5 years!!! What the heezy? I'm SO happy I made the switch to an iPhone. My blackberry was like living in the dark ages. *sigh* So happy those days are over.

I feel the need to acknowledge the fact that I feel blessed and fortunate to have a job, but I do find being "on call" to be one of the most ridiculous aspects of my job. Hands down. Period.

So, to all of my gainfully employed blogging friends, what is the most obnoxiously, over the top aspect of your 9-5?

Feb 6, 2012

A Tale of Two Wets

Is period sex really that bad?

Yes... I'm starting this blog post with the very direct and oh so necessary question. Everyone wants sex, yet every month like clockwork women find themselves sidelined for a very good reason... for when our periods DON'T come it usually incites panic and sheer terror in the hearts of men everywhere lol.

Recently the topic of "period sex" came up between a girlfriend and I and it made me wonder what others thought. Some men are strictly opposed to it. Some could care less... but when it come down to it, is wet really wet? Or does that hint of red change the game.

Personally I don't have any issues with having sex at any time... Period or no period I'm good to go. I will say that there are definitely days that a woman won't want to be touched, but typically it's not that big of a deal. Grab a towel and let's keep it moving. Need another option? Hop in the shower lol... nothing like some warm water to wash away the red desperation.

This topic might be a bit TMI for most, but I'm random, opinionated and love talking about everything with everyone lol... Thoughts?

Feb 3, 2012

Practice Makes Perfect?

Earlier today my guy sent me a link to the new Drake video "Practice" and told me he was engaged in an online argument regarding the chick shaking her ass... (Gotta love Facebook lol). He claimed women were being haters and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about.

So, let's get the obvious out of the way... yes, her room is dirty. Her shit is chaotic. All very realistic things. She's lounging around the "house" shaking her ass in the mirror. All women do that. I think the online "hate" comes into play because so many sub-par or basic bitch type of chicks with a fat ass and NOTHING else to offer get a pass from men.

Now, to be fair and play devil's advocate, it's not to say men are locking these chicks down and giving them rings, but they will get fucked and taken to dinner, usually... so women that have shit going for themselves minus the giganto ass get annoyed b/c they're feeling sub-par to those women.

In my opinion men are simple. Extremely simple. They are visual creatures and like ass. So, to me.. the video was basic. To a guy... it's a fat ass shaking for nearly 4 minutes and they don't require much more. A clean room? A bed that's made? Girl, please... they could care less.

If my ass was that big I'd have half the personality I do because it wouldn't be necessary. Twerk that ass for 5 minutes - - You don't have to talk or do much else lol... but even the fattest ass gets old so you really do need more (which is common knowledge) ... but again, this is a video so it's not that serious.

In reality the video was genius - - a fat ass, super low budget to save $, conversation starter lol... and know what? I'm sure everyone will start shaking it to this song in the confines of their home... some will even post their own video on YouTube in 5, 4, 3, 2.....

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