5 men. 2 hours. No censors.
That was the task at hand for Essence Relationship Editor Demetria Lucas (better known to the blog world as A Belle in Brooklyn) when she sat down with a handful of single men to pick their brains on all things love, sex and relationships.
I was drawn to the December '09 issue because of the blinding rock Marjorie Harvey was flashing on her hand (Steve Harvey's Wife) but soon found the "What Men Think" article nestled on page 97. It's always enlightening and entertaining to see what men think, and though conversations can sometimes be funny, sometimes frustrating, Lucas tackled the job with ease. Check out the highlights below...
On the large number of single, Black women:
Essence: I've heard - and I'm sure you have too - lots of ladies blaming their single status on the lack of available men. If there are so many great men, why are so many Black women single?
Norman Lee: A lot of Black women are not trying to compromise. They have an entitled attitude like, I deserve this. I deserve that. No, you don't!
On what they're looking for in a wife and marriage:
Essence: Do Black men have the great options Black women think they do when it comes to finding a quality wife? I can't help but notice none of you are married.
Rich Williams: The reason the divorce rate is so high is people don't get married for the right reasons. They think marriage is just an extended, permanent dating period and it's not. It's an emotional and a business partnership. Our love doesn't pay the mortgage.
On what it takes to put a ring on it:
Essence: Say you have a woman who does all the right things. What will it take for you to put a ring on it?
Norman Lee: I need a woman who is aggressive. She has to set some rules and keep me in line. If I'm acting out, tell me, "Look, that's not happening here." I don't want a woman I can walk over.
On the importance of good sex:
Essence: How important is good sex?
Wes Mapes: If the sex game is not on point, we will not go to the next level. Sorry.
Rich Williams: At 30 you should know how to please somebody whether you're a man or a woman.
Norman Lee: Yeah, you're playing varsity now. This ain't JV.
On what they think good sex is:
Essence: What is good sex? Do men want women to swing from the chandeliers?
Brian Miller: I need the woman to be nasty. Who wants a prude in the bedroom? Don't bring gadgets or be a dominatrix with the whips, but be open to anything else.
For more on this interview pick up the December issue of Essence Magazine.
