Jun 23, 2009

Adventures on the CTA - Blue Line Edition

I've been MIA from the blog world lately due to moving and my lack of internet access at home. I've said bye to the glitz and glam of the South Loop and find myself back in my old stomping ground. Along with my move has come the joy of taking the train instead of the bus. I was slightly skeptical as to whether the blue line would be able to provide me with material like the Michigan Ave buses did....but after a few rides my nerves were put to rest and I was blessed with priceless material to report.

1. The blue line seems to be in a constant state of smelling like piss. I guess bums pay their toll and ride up and down all day/night long but pissing on the cars and at the stops is not the business. I have to say that the bus never smelled as bad as the train. Bus 1 Train 0.

2. On the bus I never experienced many bums asking for change. The blue line has taken begging to a whole new level. While on my way home I noticed a guy making his way from car to car giving a PSA of sorts - - "Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I'm very hungry and haven't eaten in 2 days. Does anyone have change? Anyone? Anyone? Nickels, Dimes... pennies? Anyone?" Now, being hungry isn't a good feeling but seriously dude, you're going to need to up your begging skills. Aim higher... why not ask for dollars and quarters! lol...

3. Hood conversations are definitely different on the train. I'm used to ghetto ass girls, but the blue line has grown ass men getting crunk on their cells. Here's a snippet of a conversation I heard yesterday:
"Nigga all my nieces and nephews...it ain't nothin fo me to be out South. Nigga I know what the fuck she doing...I can't get in the middle of that. If I told yo mothafuckin ass once, I told yo mothafuckin ass twice. Nigga you need to stay there and ignore her petty ass shit. Stay there and take care of yo kids. You know what our daddy said, if you man enough to make em then be man enough to take care of em. Bruh man, if you ain't happy then move the fuck on. You know I had the best woman in my life and I walked away from her and my 15 kids...the worst thing I ever did."


I felt like a damn court stenographer trying to capture every word this dude was saying. He was out of control and out of order - - definitely set our people back a few years with his ignorant ass conversation.

4. I've noticed way too many black men with huge neck tats (like "FACE MOB") and wearing their do-rags on the train. Damn, can't you get your wave game up to par at home?

5. I've seen signs that say "No shoes, no shirt, no service" but I guess this doesn't apply to the blue line. I witnessed this Matthew McConaughey wanna-be going for the LA Surfer dude look and ditching his shirt. I will say that his body was on point so he didn't hurt my sight...but still, put some clothes on.

Some pros of the train:

- less children and more professionals
- not as crowded
- the a/c helps to keep my hair from looking like a hot sweated out mess


Sidebar: I should have internet as of next week so I'll be back to posting regularly

5 comments:

-B said...

lol, great post.

the blue line needs to do something about the old school cars as well...

i rode it a few weeks ago coming from O'Hare, which is the only time I usually use that route...but, i was taken back by the 1980s train car!

and yes, it REEKED of stale urine...lol

nasty.

Yan Tan said...

hey hunn just stopping by showing your blog some love..very interesting..we love it : )


**YANTAN**


COME STOP BY SOMETIME.. ;-P

Ms_Slim said...

All I ride is the blue line El. It's so weird you had such experiences as I've never had anything ridiculous while on the blue line outside the man that masturbated in front of me and used me as his muse and a few schizos.

The red and orange lines make me nervous. So does the green and certain parts of the brown. The blue has been the safest for me lol

bfrank84 said...

This is why I don't mind Metra or driving sometimes....

I rode the blue line once from OHare to the Loop........Never More

E's said...

Hilarious!

"...constant smell of piss" LOL! Did ya know? The CTA actually sprays an artificial piss smell to dissuade "bums" from spending prolonged stays in the tunnels.

The increase in the number of bums on the train. LOL! However, Did you know? The current world economic situation has increased the number of bums on all public transit. New bums have been unable to get adequate training and have dramatically inferior "bumming" skills - hence begging for "nickels and pennies".

The conversation may have been irritating and aggressive, but...Did you know? The translation was actually another version of Obama's Father's Day speech. He was expounding the importance of being a father to your children.

Get your Internet going - I enjoy your blog a lot. Keep putting them up, I'll knock 'em down!:) LOL.

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